Psychologist decodes Seema Sajdeh’s approach to open conversations with sons about her relationship and family changes

Seema highlighted how the open, organic conversations with her sons foster a deeper understanding and a sense of inclusion. “The conversation was very organic,” she said. “Yohan, being younger, looks up to Nirvaan as his elder brother. Nirvaan can also explain things to me from Yohan’s point of view, and vice versa.” This approach highlights the significance of considering children’s perspectives on life changes, creating a sense of security and trust within the family.

Approaching conversations in a way that respects children’s feelings and builds trust

Neha Cadabam, child senior psychologist at Cadabam’s Child Development Centre, tells indianexpress.com, “When discussing major life changes with children, it’s essential for parents to create an open, empathetic, and honest environment. Research in developmental psychology underscores that honest communication helps build trust and security, as children feel that their emotions and thoughts are valued. It’s important to approach the conversation with active listening — allowing children to voice their feelings, questions, and concerns without judgement.”

Start the conversation in a calm, private setting where the child feels comfortable, suggests Cadabam. “Use age-appropriate language to ensure they understand the situation without feeling overwhelmed. Psychologists suggest beginning with statements that show empathy, such as, ‘I know this may feel surprising or different, and I want to hear how you feel about it.’ This approach validates the child’s emotions, allowing them to feel included and safe in sharing their thoughts.”

Involving children in discussions about significant changes fosters open communication and healthier family relationships. (Source: Freepik)

Psychological benefits for children when they feel included in their parents’ decisions

When children feel included in family decisions, especially those that impact them, experience greater emotional security and a stronger sense of belonging, notes Cadabam. “Studies in the Journal of Family Psychology show that inclusion helps children feel valued, enhancing self-esteem and reducing anxiety. It also allows them to adjust to changes at their own pace, minimising stress and encouraging adaptability.”

Involving children in discussions about significant changes fosters open communication and healthier family relationships. When children see their opinions matter, they are more likely to share their feelings, strengthening family bonds. Inclusive communication also builds emotional intelligence, teaching empathy and perspective-taking—skills they carry into adulthood. This approach creates a cooperative family environment where all members feel respected and connected, says Cadabam.

Communication strategies that can help parents address sensitive topics with children of different age groups

According to Cadabam, effective communication varies by “the child’s age and developmental stage. ” For younger children, she says that simplicity is key—using concrete language and reassuring them that routines will stay stable and they are loved unconditionally.

For preteens and teenagers, a nuanced approach works better. “Adolescents understand complex emotions, so parents can provide context and involve them more in discussions. Using “I” statements, like “I feel happier in this relationship,” can prevent defensiveness and encourage open dialogue,” explains Cadabam.

Regular check-ins help parents gauge how their child is adjusting and reassure them they can discuss their feelings anytime. This age-sensitive approach fosters resilience and adaptability, respectfully guiding children through family changes.

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