In the biggest show on the tube today, Arvind Kejriwal will publicly abjure Anna Hazare’s unsolicited advice: “Don’t travel by the Metro this time. Don’t be sworn in at Ramlila Maidan.” Kejriwal’s preferred mode of transport is unknown, but his destination is Ramlila Maidan. Hope he doesn’t sing a film song again, though. The Prime Minister has recused himself to Maharashtra today to avoid facing the prospect of Kejriwal’s music. The muffler has strangled the BJP in Delhi, the party’s size chhappan ego (the reference is to a 56-inch chest) is reduced to chhabbees (26 inches), and further abuse seems like a human rights violation. Times Now’s themers seem to have anticipated the magnitude of the landslide better than the pseudo-psephologists who shot way too low. “We have a breach! We have a breach!” Arnab Goswami called every time a BJP or Congress Goliath ate dust. The background framing him showed some kind of conflagration, maybe a missile strike in Baghdad, with these words embossed on the flames: “Firewall Breach.” [related-post] In contrast to such explosive coverage was the jubilation outside party offices and the home of Arvind Kejriwal. A shower of petals and confetti is a pleasant change from the sweets stuffed into faces and the firecrackers that mark the victory celebrations of more mature parties. Just in time, before his elevation to office, The Viral Fever interviewed Kejriwal in Barely Speaking with Arnub, ruthless practitioner of “hard journalism buffering on YouTube at 1 Mbps”. Like his mimic on Times Now, Arnub asks the hardest questions: “If you’re against garbage, why do you have Somnath?” His ticker says: “Kumar Vishwas burns own poetry to support Clean India campaign.” Speed was the marker of both the campaign and the result. The trail bosses of the Congress had resigned their positions before studio anchors could have their elevenses. A change of air was palpable even earlier. Zee talked about the PM’s ostentatious dress sense. Rahul Kanwal mused that an IRS officer heads the poor man’s party while a chai-wallah heads the party of plutocrats. Arnab Goswami ripped into the BJP because Modi had belittled “bazaru” (commercial) opinion polls. Since opinion polls appear all over, and sometimes verge on fiction, the entire media took it personally. Anyway, AAP is here and we are learning its grammar. To keep up with the party’s communications, Headlines Today tried to show a YouTube message from Kejriwal right on an anchor’s phone held up to the camera, instead of downloading the clip to a computer. Wrong number — the phone buffered helplessly at 1 kbps. This has not been a good week for the current title-holder of the internet game. Modi has had to grin and bear tea for Kejriwal, is quitting Delhi ahead of the swearing-in ceremony, and in between, he was embroiled in a mandir issue when his image, installed in a Rajkot temple, was aired by TV channels. At long last, the bizarreness of the incident got him to start talking about issues of faith. Meanwhile, though, the people in his extended family, who keep the pot bubbling, are speaking freely. Where does AAP go now? Punjab, is the consensus. But on counting day, Swapan Dasgupta pointed out that the Kolkata Municipal Corporation, which goes to the polls in summer, is a sitting duck. Odd behaviour, who’s he batting for? But it’s true: municipal politics will gain importance in an increasingly urban nation. AAP may have to learn about larger issues that governments face, but it has what it takes to run corporations very well. Like Delhi, Kolkata expects the BJP, but is waiting for an alternative to big money and fat muscle, and the Bangalore corporation may go to the polls even earlier. Will AAP strike out?
