Chatty Kamla: Black Thursday

Somewhere in between the threading of my upper lip and my eyebrows, I had turned into Ajay Malhotra from Baazigar. Last Thursday, when the PM declared his demonetisation scheme, I rushed home from the parlour, only to see Mummy wailing while Papa took out all the important documents from our Godrej almari — Rs 10,000 in 500 rupee notes, and all our fake birth certificates. You know now, which pieces of paper had more value!

Modiji wants to get rid of black money, and I want to support him. But hunger for my normal life is making him look like Madan Chopra to me. Almost same to same, Shah Rukh Khan’s character’s story and my story. His family went on a vacation and when they returned, they had been turned out on the streets. I was rich when I’d gone to the parlour, and now, I was penniless. I kept telling myself that this was for the nation, that a little suffering toh chalta hai, but how much is enough? Papa shook his head and said, “How can he do this to everybody? We voted for him. And now our money is gone!” Same helplessness as Shah Rukh I am feeling — but I can’t do murder-shurder. What is the point, people are dying on their own only!

So I took off my spectacles, wore my contact lenses, and stood in line for hours at ATMs. Each time, I came home empty-handed, just like Ajay. My mother had started looking like Rakhee. I went to her, and, just like Ajay, I said, “Tu kyu roti hai? Rona toh usko hai, jisne humein rulaya hai.” I tell you, by god, that dialogue has some power! Papa had turned on the TV and there he was, Modiji, who first laughed at our troubles, and then started to cry, saying the black money hoarders were out to get him. My mother let out another wail after he said that we need to bear with him for 50 days!

Bas karo Modiji, aur rulaoge kya?