Distance Learning

It’s the first taste of freedom and adulthood for many and only natural that romantic friendships blossom between the like-minded. Everyone needs someone to show them around town or get equally lost with. Four years is a substantial period of time to build a relationship on,but not every happy pair is lucky enough to get jobs or post-graduate admissions in the same place. That’s when the packing blues begin and promises less convincing than New Year’s resolutions are made.

The term LDR is definitely more in vogue now that this age of bolder dating culture coincides with cheaper calling rates and Skype-facilitating broadband plans. Even when the big bang fizzles out and all the formerly energised particles dissipate their separate ways,Facebook relationship statuses merely change to “it’s complicated” rather than “single”. Out of sight is not immediately out of mind unless of course it’s just a campus affair. In which case the lovebirds pull one last all-nighter,take a lot of self-portraits and like the telling Fastrack ad,just move on.

But more often than not the separation is agonizing. And any couple that survives it then has to deal with a whole new range of relationship bummers. “She spends more time with her friends than on Gtalk with me” or “He never calls me,I have to call him” or “What if he/she is secretly seeing someone else?” A nearly universal quality I have seen in LDR sufferers is that they all imagine their partner is having infinitely more fun than them,with extremely attractive people who are up to no good. Makes you wish for the simpler days of “Why aren’t you ready yet???” and “Eww,you need deodorant”.

Despite all the politics and guesswork,LDRs do have their merits. The world is full of people who relish the time and space that distance affords them. Weekends,month-ends or whenever your partner visits become dates to mark on the calendar with hearts and smileys. Your poetry book fills up. You get more presents,or spend more on travel,depending on how good or bad your wheedling skills are.

Perhaps that’s one more course which students in the city’s multi-disciplined colleges can be taught. How to survive a long distance relationship with someone you met at the fest,in the canteen,or while bunking the previous class. I believe we might see a higher than average attendance.

The author is a chess grandmaster and former national champion