The ‘bad’ word that is good: Two Pune artists talk about consent and boundaries through an exhibition

An exhibition, “No Positive”, at Sudarshan Kaladalan from June 22 will feature this video of Harlalka dancing as well as photographs of her. “I have faced issues because I could not say no to things. Ghar pe sikhaya jata hain, ‘Na nahin bolte’. (We are taught at home not to say no.) I wanted to say no many times but felt pressured to say yes,” says Gaikwad, who has been shooting theatre and dance productions in the city for several years.

Gaikwad had to face multiple social challenges and realised that many friends had troubled lives because refusal was made impossible. “I talked to them and realised that we consider ‘No’ to be a negative word due to social conditioning. The truth is that setting boundaries and refusing to do something that you do not want is ok,” says Gaikwad, who has conceptualised this project.

Harlalka, co-founder of Artsphere and Soulsphere, Pune, a space for performing arts and therapy, mental health services, and mental wellness, was already working with the concept of boundaries in terms of mental health “and how it is difficult for most people to say No even if it is healthy for them” when Gaikwad approached her for this piece.

“The idea that saying No makes one a bad person is why most people struggle with it. People, who usually say no, are also looked at as not being friendly and warm. The idea behind the dance piece was to break that ideology and talk about first taking care of oneself,” says Harlalka. The dance, a fully embodied and felt experience, was unrehearsed and performed impromptu as Gaikwad shot it in one take.

When consent came into the limelight during the Me Too movement in India, with models, journalists, and artists taking to social media to share their experiences of sexual exploitation, it prompted many regular women and men, too, to overcome shame and speak among themselves. The movement, however, was short-lived and did not create a healthier living and work environment in society.

Gaikwad has extended the theme of boundaries to understand consent and refusal in a variety of situations, for instance, when parents decide the careers of their children and juniors unwillingly agree with bosses. “It is not important if what you want is right or wrong. Our concern is that your wish should be respected. I am not a mental health professional. I wanted to create an artist’s take on a conversation about boundaries,” he says.

Harlalka says her powerful dance emerged from her experience of anxiety that starts “after one has not been honest to oneself and has said yes or done something that will please others but not themselves.”