So much has happened in the last week that I just didnt feel like talking about any of it. When something rattles your faith and nearly uproots it,it can be a profound experience filled with the loud sound of a shattered heart. And silence seems like the safest remedy. To retreat into yourself,to be numb and passive,to ponder and introspect why things have not gone right is what most of us do. And I did that for a few days,but now Im over it. You keep chasing something for a stretch of time,and just at the point of closure,just as you think you and the object of your pursuit,a cherished dream,will coalesce into a singularity that will spring to life through your actions and deeds,the dream slips away,the chase continues and hope,like an overstuffed balloon,blows up in your face. And then something wonderful happens to someone else. Their deepest,most intense and devoted prayers are answered. The grace of God becomes visible and undeniable,and you realize that you are the merest of the mere who has and will have no right to question or doubt the deliverance of this grace. It will happen when it will. Losing the faith is so much easier than keeping it. And therein lies the test. As I taxingly seesawed between hopelessness and hope this last week,I discovered that the tenacity of my resolve was the consequence of my faith. But is that kind of resolve only borne in people who have encountered severe challenges? Does it happen to only those who choose to peel the security blankets off themselves,and leap naked into a pool of shrapnel and ice? No,shit happens to everyone. Whether you are intrinsically good or bad,special or mundane,soft or hard,there are blows reserved especially for you. They cannot be denied,but they can softened if we,in spite of them,continue to stay inspired. Poonam Sareen,originally my meditation teacher,but currently evolving into some kind of a life coach,continues to inspire me. As she daily battles a personal challenge,she knows no signs of emotional fatigue and failure and is instead filled with lucidity and laughter,and an insatiable lust to keep on keeping on. Anita Vaswani,a dear friend,who runs the boutique marketing and styling firm,One Degree Connectivity,is now launching a new initiative,LoveShanti,a spiritual concierge service on a global level,that will assist anybody who is a seeker,to connect the dots that lead to the arms of inner peace and joy. These are people within my personal purview whose relentless pursuit of divinity in their daily lives become examples of incitement and illumination. The fillip can,however,come from external stimuli also. To me,all art is hope. Whether it is the extraordinary coffee-table book on American artist and design legend Tony Duquette,who was known for his over-the-top style in interiors,jewelry,costumes or set design. Or Karan Johars ability to wear so many creative hats with such effortlessness and aplomb. Or then,Glenn Closes masterfully Machiavellian performance in the hit TV series Damages. All of them are consequences of faith. It was silly,even naïve,of me to denounce my faith for even a day. It was this very act that led to the all-prevailing sense of dejection,and not the non-accomplishment of my goal. But I had it all confused. No,that was just the test,I realise in retrospect. How much faith do I have? How easily will I let go off it? How much can I really take? I know better now. Im all fired and inspired. And it seems like there is still some distance to go. Bring it on. (mozezsingh@gmail.com)
