Jokes by John Russell

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* 2 Free Adult courses (For classesVIII to XII) of 32 hours’ duration.
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The courses are offered only at The British Council English Language Teaching Centre,Delhi .

For more details of the courses please visit http://www.britishcouncil.org/india”

Jokes come in all shapes and sizes. This article looks at just a few of these shapes and sizes and gives a few tips to those of you who like telling jokes.

According to the dictionary,a joke is “something that makes you laugh”. This is a very short definition for something that can make you laugh,cry,feel angry,or sad,want to scream or shout. They can be about anything in the universe,from jobs to relationships,from nationalities to animals. They can also make you think very hard or laugh immediately.

From the one-liner,e.g.,The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits (Einstein),to jokes about computers: I use my cat’s name as my computer password. Unfortunately I have to change the password every month so now my cat’s called czc-x9ig-pol9!,humour is something that connects all countries and nationalities.

A very common type of joke in English is a pun or a play on words. This can be based around different meanings for the same spelling (homographic):

He’s the senior teacher. He’s over 70!

(How many different meanings of senior are there?)

It can also be based around different meanings for the same sound (homophonic):

Why didn’t the perfume arrive? Because it wasn’t scent.

A pun can also be used in a shaggy dog story. This is a very long joke that usually finishes with a punchline (the climax of a joke) that uses a play on words. Some people argue that a shaggy dog story is just a long joke:

A giant panda escaped from the zoo in London. Eventually,he became hungry and walked into a restaurant,where he found a seat at an empty table. The waiter took the panda’s order. In due course the panda’s meal arrives and he eats.

After he finishes his dinner he stands up,calmly pulls out a gun from where he had it hidden,and fires into the air. Then he turns around and walks toward the door.

Naturally,the waiter is horrified. He stops the panda and demands an explanation,at the very least.

The panda says to him: ‘What do I look like to you?’

The waiter answers: ‘Well,a giant panda,of course.’ ‘That’s right,’ says the panda. ‘Look it up.’ And he walks out.

The waiter calls the police. When they arrive the waiter relates the whole story to them,including the panda’s comment about looking it up. So the sergeant sends a young officer to get an encyclopaedia.

He eventually returns with the Encyclopaedia Britannica,volume P. The detective looks up ‘panda’,and there’s the answer: ‘Giant panda,lives in China,eats shoots and leaves.’

Death and other depressing topics are also common subjects for jokes; this kind of humour is called black humour:

When asked in class how they would like to die,one student said to the teacher: ‘I’d like to die peacefully in my sleep — like my uncle — not screaming in terror,like the passengers on his bus.’

How to tell a good joke?
There are a few things to remember when you tell a joke.

First,remember who you’re telling the joke to. Choose a subject that your audience can appreciate — young people won’t find jokes about economics funny; however,economics students may. Be careful not to offend people by mistake — a joke about doctors or sick people may be funny,but perhaps not to a doctor or a sick person.

Doctor: I’m afraid I’ve got some bad news and some very bad news for you.
Patient: What’s the bad news?
Doctor: You have 24 hours to live.
Patient: And the very bad news?
Doctor: I should have told you yesterday.

Never announce a joke — ‘I know a very funny joke’ — or tell anyone you know a story that will make them laugh. It will never be as funny as you want it to be. Tell the joke without introductions:

The timing of a joke is also very important. Don’t rush towards the punchline; the joke should build up a little tension . . . and a little more . . . and then a pause . . . and then a strong punchline. Your punchline could also be something that surprises; something your audience doesn’t expect. In the same way,if your audience have to think a little before they understand the joke,they may appreciate it more. Try this one (how many different meanings of change can you think of?):

Change is inevitable . . . except from a drinks machine.

Finally,topical jokes (jokes about events now) are funnier than jokes about events in the past. How many people would laugh now at a Margaret Thatcher joke,or a joke about the Berlin Wall coming down? But there are thousands of Gordon Brown jokes or funny Internet sites about current events.

In the end,it’s up to you what you find funny. And even if you can’t tell jokes very well,you can still enjoy them.

Vocabulary
Five words/phrases from the text:
* one-liner: a very short joke
* pun: a joke that plays on a word with a double meaning
* punchline: the ending of a joke
* black humour: joke that has a serious subject matter
* topical: something related to recent events

Exercise one
Vocabulary gap fill. Now use the five words/phrases to fill the gaps in the sentences below
‘Marriage is a wonderful institution,but who wants to live in an institution?’ This is a ………[1 by Groucho Marx.
If you like to laugh at death and suffering,you will appreciate ………[2
………[3 jokes are ones that won’t be funny in five years’ time.
When you translate a ………[4 from one language to another,the humour is usually lost.
He was good at telling jokes,but he could never remember the ………[5

Exercise two
Comprehension: reordering sentences. Put the sentences below in the order they appear in the article.

1. Jokes can reveal the difficulties inherent in personal relationships.

2. Not only is the subject matter for jokes very wide,humour is a universal phenomenon.

3. Humour in the end is very much a matter of personal taste.

4. The writer wants to give some examples of different kinds of jokes and show the reader what makes a good joke.

5. You should consider your audience,the way you begin telling a joke and the way you deliver the punchline.

English and culture
George Bernard Shaw wrote: “The English have no respect for their language,and will not teach their children to speak it.” The Irish writer is the only person to have been awarded both the Nobel Prize for literature and an Oscar. Do you think Shaw was right? Could he have said the same about people in your country?

Answers
Vocabulary
1. one liner
2. black humour
3. topical
4. pun
5. punchline

Comprehension
1. d
2. b 3. a
4. e
5. c

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