Sameera Reddy on the importance of sex education: ‘Since my parents were really reticent to discuss this subject, I recall being perplexed by it’

You have one of the most relatable Instagram accounts: candid, raw, funny, and extremely honest. Does it take a lot to be “yourself” on social media (known for filters, unrealistic goals, trolling, and negativity, in general)?

My Instagram account is relatable, raw, and funny since it came from a place where I didn’t have to worry about being rejected, criticised, or told what my rules should be or how I should behave. I act in a way that makes me pleased. I express my sadness openly and also talk about my struggles since I believe that when I needed someone the most, they were silent. So, I suppose that body positivity, self-love, and humour all originate from within. Speaking of negativity and trolls, I don’t handle it; it’s not mine, it’s theirs. You need to realise that when you get trolled, the person who is doing it is upset and in a very dark place, so they are simply lashing out. You feel sorry for them, you forgive them, and you move on. They must evolve on their own terms, and I only hope and pray that they do so soon.

In keeping with the same, you have often touched many taboo subjects — from weight loss to greying hair, body positivity, post-pregnancy struggles, and challenges of motherhood. What inspires and motivates you to share all this with your followers?

What inspires me is wanting that change, knowing very well that there is no one to look up to and tell me that, you know, it’s very common, these struggles are normal and we all go through them, and the more we share our experience as a community the more there is a wave of change.

And now, taking the next step, you are all set to talk about sex and pleasure. Have you already received a lot of queries for your next podcast? What seem to be the most common questions or doubts regarding the subject?

Everyone wanted to speak when we stated that the questions asked by the audience would be anonymous in Westside’s Limitless podcast. People want to talk about sex but are hesitant to do so since it is a taboo subject. No one ever discusses sex in public, which is why there are many misconceptions about it. I’m very glad that this step has been taken towards openness and is having a discourse with sex educators like Leeza Mangaldas. Awareness is crucial as knowledge about sex is so muddled.

What is the main idea behind hosting this podcast? What are your personal views on the myths, misconceptions, and taboos surrounding sex in India? Also, you have young children, as a mother how do you plan to (or have) broach the subject when the time comes? 

Strangely enough, I am really receptive to all of it. I believe that there is some freedom of fluidity today that wasn’t acknowledged before. If my children need to explore, I will communicate with them so they can understand what they are going through instead of going outside and getting the wrong information. Having candid dialogues and creating a comfortable environment at home is the way to approach this. We should be understanding about sex and preferences rather than lecturing children about what is right or bad. It’s regrettable that so many people nowadays have established these boundaries between right and wrong. It’s all about change, and I believe that the first step toward that transformation as a mother is to let it happen rather than fighting for it. After all, change is inevitable and much-needed in a nation like India.

Since my parents were really reticent to discuss this subject with me when I was a child, I recall being very perplexed by it. I don’t believe I’ve ever discussed this subject with my parents. But I’m lucky to have an older sister who has been there to answer all of my confusing questions and has really held my hand through it. I’m also lucky to have a sister who has explained everything to me, including what to expect and how to handle the changes. She has been my rock.

Talking about motherhood, what is the most important thing parenting has taught you?

As a parent today, my priorities have changed. I take better care of myself, and I don’t take things for granted. I feel like I had to evolve overnight because I need to be a better person and a better example for my children. So, parenting has definitely taught me that I have to go way beyond myself. I have to improve as a person for my family, my children, and me.

I’m very aware of my ups and downs; struggles with my body, and struggles with keeping up with society. There is a constant conversation around you which, sometimes, catches you off guard and makes you question yourself — if you are doing enough? earning enough? are successful? is your body what it should look like? are your children been given the best? But I’ve learnt to let go of societal expectations.

Would it be right to say that social media gave you a platform to reconnect with your fans in a way films or modelling never did? Is this Sameera 2.0?

This is reinvention, and I always say that anyone can reinvent themselves, whether older or younger. However, I fell into a trap where after being an actor. I could not see beyond it because I had gained weight and had postpartum depression. I lost myself and couldn’t pick myself back up for a very long time. I realised that I was hard on myself and had to allow change, so I did. I always credit social media for giving me that chance.

How “messy” are you really, and how sassy is your sasu? What does it take to maintain the equilibrium?

You can ask my husband; he will tell you that I am the messiest person ever. But as you are aware, there is chaos within harmony, and it is within that mess that I accomplish my tasks. I feel very proud of my messy nature.

Talking about my mother-in-law, she is the sassiest person I know, and an amazing woman! We experience ups and downs, just like any other mother-daughter in law, but we communicate, fight through it, and love each other through it, and that is what makes our relationship so strong. It makes me very proud.

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