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Journalism of Courage
An extra-marital affair can affect not just one’s partner but also the rest of the family, including the kids. Even Bollywood stars are not safe from the destruction they can cause.
In his memoir Khullam Khulla, actor Rishi Kapoor wrote about his father Raj Kapoor’s affairs, especially with his Sangam co-star Vyjayanthimala.
Rishi revealed that when his father was involved with the actress, his mother, Krishna, decided to leave the family home along with the children.
In the memoir, Rishi wrote, “I was very young during my father’s affair with Nargis Ji, so it didn’t impact me much. I didn’t sense anything unusual at home. However, I vividly recall moving with my mother to the Natraj Hotel on Marine Drive during my father’s affair with Vyjayanthimala.” He went on to explain, “This time, my mother decided to stand her ground. After staying at the hotel, we moved to an apartment in Chitrakoot for two months. My father had purchased the apartment for us. He made every effort to win her back, but she didn’t reconcile with him until he had completely ended the affair.”
Anyone entering a relationship does so with the hope that it will be a safe space where they can grow both as individuals and as partners, Arouba Kabir, emotional & mental health professional and founder of Enso wellness, said. However, being in a relationship with a partner who cheats can shatter that emotional safe space, leading to feelings of insecurity and self-doubt, due to the betrayal and loss of trust.
Kabir said one can start questioning themselves, “People often start thinking: ‘I am not enough.’ ‘What did I do?’, ‘Why is my partner not attracted to me?’, damaging our self esteem.”
Emotional stress can also manifest physically in forms like sleep disturbances, fatigue, headaches, jaw pain, IBS, and more, Kabir said.
Kabir said this is what you need to do next:
1. Allow yourself to feel: Accept the range of emotions you’re going through as they are there for your protection and process them one by one.
2. Open communication: If you decide to confront your partner, have an honest conversation about the betrayal and how it makes you feel and discuss whether reconciliation is possible.
3. Seek professional help: Therapy or counselling can provide emotional support, help you process the betrayal, and assist in decision-making.
4. Self-care & healing: Prioritise your well-being. Engage in activities that bring you peace and focus on rebuilding your self-esteem.
5. Create boundaries: If you choose to work through the relationship, setting clear boundaries with your partner about communication, transparency, and respect is essential.
6. Evaluate the relationship: Consider if trust can be rebuilt or if the relationship is toxic and should be ended.
“Do not look at other people. Whether to leave or stay is totally your personal choice, but, see the facts and ask yourself if you are ready to walk on that path,” Kabir ended with saying.
