📣 For more lifestyle news, click here to join our WhatsApp Channel and also follow us on Instagram
© IE Online Media Services Pvt Ltd
Tags:
Journalism of Courage
Making relationships work is a lot of work. Not all are ready to put in that amount of work––on themselves and on the relationship itself. Add to this mix the constant dopamine hit from social media, relationships, especially romantic ones, have become more tricky. In a recent interview with Netflix India, Kriti Sanon shared seven “red flags” you should be vary of in a partner while promoting her upcoming release Do Patti. For those living under a rock, “red flag” is a new way to refer to toxic behavioural patterns in people.
To understand what makes the behaviours Sanon listed in the show dangerous to relationships, indianexpress.com spoke to counselling psychologist Srishti Vatsa, who explained each of the points.
Emotional manipulation is when a person gives just enough attention to keep the other person engaged but avoids a deeper emotional connection. We can look at the term “breadcrumbing” — giving small doses of attention without commitment. Just enough to satisfy at the moment and make them not leave you.
Spending time on social media while being “too busy” to talk is most often a sign of emotional unavailability. It shows the person might be avoiding real intimacy, and social media becomes an escape route. Since there is very little accountability when you are present on social media, one can present a version of themselves they want others to see.
Comparisons are a covert tool for control, and this can undermine the partner’s self-esteem. This behaviour can destabilise the partner emotionally. This behaviour leaves the partner feeling they are not good enough and as a result, the partner can then convince themselves to accept the bare minimum because of the low self-worth.
Isolation is a mark of coercive control, it is a pattern often found abusive relationships. The isolation creates dependence and reduces the likelihood of the individual receiving support. The person is not able to think rationally and will believe everything the abuser has to say.
When someone is overly affectionate one moment and cold the next – it can lead to emotional instability in the partner. This unpredictability can create dependency, as the victim wants to regain the affection they once received. The victim then works harder to gain the approval of the partner, resulting in burnout and resentment. This behaviour is often followed by gaslighting, where the person may blatantly deny their cold behaviour later, leaving the partner confused and questioning their perception of reality.
Disrespect, whether in public or private should never be dismissed. It often starts with subtle forms of criticism, sarcasm, belittling and can escalate into more harmful behaviours.
According to Vatsa, people may rationalise bad behaviour because they are emotionally, economically invested or have been in a relationship for far too long. Many people tend to ignore red flags due to low self-worth or a fear of loneliness. It is important to work on getting therapy with a trained psychologist so that you can recognise these patterns in yourself and not fall into an unhealthy relationship out of loneliness.
“Inner child healing can be one of the many ways to heal, especially for people who have more chances of accepting unhealthy relationships. It is observed that with unresolved childhood emotional wounds around emotional neglect, might feel drawn to the familiar patterns of instability or mistreatment. This is because of the familiarity of the behaviour patterns,” said Vatsa.
