May 23 was the sixth birthday of Manya. When she was born, Mahesh Kumar, the elated father had distributed sweets in Dhunde, a village falling in the sub division Bassi Pathana of blotted district Fatehgarh Sahib of Punjab. The village is now among the list of 100 districts with critically low child sex ratio (CSR) with 842 girls per thousand boys, way below the national average of 918. Some elderly women questioned him why sweets are being distributed when a girl and not a boy has arrived in the family. But Mahesh chose to shut their mouths with laddoos who questioned the celebration of his daughter's birth. "When Manya was born, we distributed sweets. Her grandfather called all relatives, which is generally done when sons are born. All thought that we have got a baby boy but as we told them about Manya, their expressions and tone of voice changed. They advised me to be patient, soon there will be a boy too, they said. I was shocked on this reaction and told them that I wanted a daughter. She is my bundle of joy," says Mahesh. ********** ******** Manya is no more. She passed away on August 24 last year at Post Graduate Institute of Medical Education and Research, Chandigarh due to the late detection of juvenile diabetes. Generally, we do not keep Manya's photographs or belongings out in the open at home. None of us are able to watch those photographs," says Mahesh, who choked several times talking about Manya. "Kisey vi tarah apni bachhi nu yaad taa rakha hi hai (we have to keep our daughter alive in every way possible)," says Mahesh whose wife Rajni Bala again gave birth to a second daughter Kristi in July last year. While the second baby girl was welcomed in an ecstatic way by her father and grandparents, the celebrations were again questioned by the villagers of Dhunde and some even started mourning at their home. The advise to go for the third child and consume some 'son-bearing' medicines also came for free. Mahesh, for whom the birth of his second daughter was like a comeback of Manya in his life, says, "Majority of the villagers were not excited by the birth of my daughters. All consoled us and even mourned as if someone has died at home. Some ladies came and started telling my wife to go for third child immediately and some even suggested medicines that will bear a son. I just told them to shut up and eat laddoos," says Mahesh, who is now recovering from loss of his daughter Manya as he holds Kristi in hands. Prime Minister Narendra Modi is now vouching for 'SelfieWithDaughters' and asking fathers to click their selfies with daughters under 'Beti Bachao, Beti Padhao' campaign. "I would request Modi ji to get a survey done on how medical field professionals themselves are plagued with this mindset to eliminate daughters. I work as a lab technician in a hospital and no one knows this better than me," says Mahesh. "Ask a father the value of a daughter who has lost one. It is a blot on our district that we are the among the worst when it comes to daughters and majority of people are not ashamed of it, even a bit," he says. With Manya no more, the bonding with his second daughter Kristi has only increased further. In fact, Mahesh has turned 'over protective' as tears fill his eyes every other day when she even falls or cries. "I get worried for him. Even if Kristi cries a bit he also starts crying," says Kanta Devi, his mother who welcomed both her granddaughters with similar outfits. "I told my daughter-in-law that we will make both sisters wear same clothes but Manya left us," says Kanta. *************************** In the corner of a room, lies a mud piggy bank. The rustling sound of coins, filled to the brim is only increasing since six years. "It was for Manya to break it open. I planned to get a birthday gift of her choice with this money. When she is no more, maybe Kristi will open it after few years or we may let it stay unopened forever," says Mahesh. Rajni joined the job of an aanganwadi worker, few months after birth of Manya and deposited her first salary of Rs 2,500 in Manya's piggy bank. Remembering her daughter, Mahesh says, "She was weak, very weak. Ill because of one thing or other every few months. I pumped in all my resources and did whatever was in my hands to save her. " "The day she vomited blood, my heart came out. Even her hair were gone due to medicines' side affects but she was always smiling. Sometimes she would not eat and I had scolded her, shouted on her asking why she wasn't eating. I curse that day," chokes Mahesh, tightly hugging Kristi. One moment with Manya has failed to slip off his mind, says Mahesh. "I want to wipe off that moment from my memory forever but it continues to pain me. I was ferrying Manya for an outing on my motorbike and I wanted her to start being independent. I made her sit at the back not at the front as she usually did, holding me tightly. That day, she felt as if I was ignoring her. She told me twice, papa ride slowly I will fall down. She repeated twice but I did not listen. I cannot forgive myself for entire life. These words prick me now," he says. ************************* In February, when the green colored 'Beti Bachao, Beti Padhao' exhibition van sent by Ministry of Women and Child Development with photos of PM Modi and minister Maneka Gandhi flashing messages on saving daughters, customized in Punjabi language entered Dhunde village, announcements were made in the gurudwara for people to come out of homes and watch a one hour programme dubbed in Punjabi including movies, songs and speeches on Save Daughters campaign. Mahesh and his wife were at the front convincing people to come out and watch. "The campaign has strengthened my own crusade against female foeticide after death of my daughter. We asked women to come out of their homes and watch this programme. Not all came but we managed to get some out of home," he says. ****************** Advise to go for the third child hoping for a boy hasn't stopped coming for Mahesh and his wife Rajni. "We never paid heed to such advises and asked them to shut up. For us Kristi is our life now and aim is to raise her with good education and make her independent. Yes, one day I will tell her that she had a sister Manya whom her father loved before her, something that will continue forever. One can never choose between his two eyes."
