Express LOL: Here’s how India can save itself from Ebola

1)  Use Rajinikanth: Because human beings are afraid of an Ebola epidemic, but Ebola is constantly afraid of a Rajini epidemic.

2) Hold a special screening for Ebola: Of the movies Happy New Year and Kick back to back. In less than a day, the virus will run away screaming.

3) Send it to Rampal’s hideout in Hisar: It will take 8 years before it is able to escape, and even then it’ll need a squadron of policemen.

4) Make sure it gets washed away: By the wave which reduced the Congress Party to a group of hobbyists, the Modi Wave.

5) Call in Virat Kohli: Maybe Ebola needs an adversary who is young, confident, and is not shy about kissing it goodbye?

6) Give it a really bad headache: By asking it to explain every plot twist and physics loophole in the 180 minute experience that is Interstellar. And, when we say explain, we mean ‘…to Kim Kardashian’.