‘A woman has the heart of a mother,a bigger one than that of a man

I have 282 sons-in-law and 42 daughters-in-law. Sons-in-law outnumber daughters-in-law because I have brought up more daughters than sons.

Manoj More: How do you all get along?

Though I bring them up as daughters and daughters-in-law,but over time unknowingly become their mother. They all are my sons and daughters. We get along well only because our family is big. If it was small,it would have been difficult. I had been through a lot of suffering and pain. I don’t want my my daughters-in-law to go through the same. My sons are working,my daughters-in-law are working hard. We are happy. To maintain a good relationship,understanding is important. Even a housewife should understand that if her husband is angry with her,the anger stems from tension at the workplace. He comes home and vents his anger on his wife. The wife should calm him down and tell him she understands this. The anger will evaporate into thin air. For her children,a woman is mother for 24 hours,why can’t she become a mother to her husband for two hours? A woman has the heart of a mother and a bigger heart than that of a man. I became mai to hundreds of children. I became mother to even my husband. To the same husband who threw me out of my home. I told him,‘If you want to come back,you are welcome. But now you should come as a child. I can’t be a wife now.’ He came and is now living with me. I became his mother as well. Why? Because I have a mother’s heart.

Manoj More: So has the misunderstanding been clarified?

No. My better part my life has gone,how can the misunderstanding be settled now? I told him to come as a child – and told all my kids he is my oldest and ‘most dangerous’ child.

Anuradha Mascarenhas: We have read about the hardships that chindhi suffered because she was a woman. Even today,things haven’t changed much,people do not want a girl child.

You should not kill your daughters,if we continue doing so then the condition of this country would be in a dangerous situation. In the rural areas,once the girl grows up it becomes very difficult for those who are poor,for those who earn their bread from daily wages to marry her. They do not have money to pay a dowry. So it becomes difficult to marry her. On the other hand,in cities,parents are not sure if a girl which has gone out alone will return safely. From the day a girl is born,she brings worry for her parents. When she marries and goes to her in- laws,then this worry subsides somewhat. But then,if she gets along well with her husband,well and good. But if not,then starts a tragic tale. A woman’s life is very difficult.

Anuradha Mascarenhas: So they shouldn’t be allowed to be born ?

No! No! All of us need mothers,aunts,grandmothers,sisters. Women give birth to children. Can men give birth? Without women,the genesis would stop. The world would come to an end.

Manoj More: So what have you done to stop this?

Those who didn’t want girls threw them out. I picked them up and became their mother. I brought them up. Today I am a mother of 1,042 children. In the beginning it was difficult. We didn’t have a place to live and food to eat. But I never gave up.

Garima Mishra: But then you attempted to commit suicide,twice.

I did,because I had nothing to eat. Bhook bahut boori hoti hai. (Hunger is bad). I went to commit suicide at a railway and at a cliff. But I couldn’t do it. My children were crying. I used to live in a crematorium. I had no place to live. So I used to spend my nights there.

Manoj More: In the film Mee Sindhutai Sapkal,your character is shown making bhakri on a funeral pyre. Did this really happen?

Yes it did. I used to live there with my then 16-day-old daughter. I was hungry. I had flour but didn’t have fuel to set a fire to cook. There was a pyre burning in the crematorium,I went there and baked my bhakri on that fire and ate it.

Sunanda Mehta: How has your life changed after the film?

Not much! Only that now more people know me. But I do not get any donations based on my film. To bring money I have to give speeches. I give three-four speeches a day. Bhaashan do to ration milta hai. People and NGOs tell me they want to donate. But there’s one condition: That I would have to come there and give a speech. Only then will I get the money.

Sunanda Mehta: Your speeches are full of poetry and shayari. Where did you learn all this?

I could study only till Class IV. That too because of my teachers’ kindness,as I wasn’t a regular at school but they kept pushing me ahead. I used to go to school when others students would come back. But I had a hunger for education. Whenever I found something to read,I used to finish it. The sheets of paper that come wrapped around daily articles,I used to read them. If I like something,I used to memorise it. I knew the paper would be lost so I used to eat it to retain. So to mug these poems,I have gobbled up many sheets of paper. Now they are coming out in the form of poetry.

Anuradha Mascarehans: You are a mother to hundreds. Which one among your children is your favorite?

My first child,Deepak. He is my favorite. Though all my children are equally dear to me,this one has suffered a lot with me in our initial days. Today he is looking after 175 kids.

Ajay Khape: Has the government helped you in your efforts.

No. Neither have I ever approached the government for help.

Pranav Kulkarni: The film,Mee Sindhutai Sapkal,had many screenings abroad,including London. Have you received any help from the cities where the film has been screened?

No. I got a lot of appreciation but no help. To get help,I have to give speeches. Now I am getting invites from many countries. I am going to visit Malaysia,Holland,Hong Kong. But for getting donations,I will have to go there. Marathi people settled abroad invite me. I tell them my story. I tell them I conquered hurdles. I tell them that I have become a mother to thousands,so you should at least become their relatives.

Nisha Nambiar: Many children grew up at your organisation. What are they doing now?

My children have done their graduation,double graduation. They have become lawyers,teachers,doctors. Many are working in different companies. One is even doing a PhD on my life. Those who couldn’t get higher education are working with me in the organisation. I tell them to get education till Class 10. If they are willing to go for higher education,it’s good. If not,then don’t force them. Many times,childhood trauma affects your learning abilities. Such children can work with me.

Garima Mishra: What is your own daughter doing?

After I gave her away to Dagdusheth Halwai Trust,she was admitted to Garware College for graduation in arts. She did her Master’s in Social Work from Patangrao Kadam College. Now she is a mother of one. I used to fear that some day she would ask me. “You have become a mother of so many. But where’s my mother?” What answer would I give her,I used to fear. Recently a journalist asked her,“Mamata,what do you want to become?” She replied,“I want to be mother of my mother.” Then and there all my fear was gone.

Ishfaq Naseem: While you have adopted so many children,why did you give your own child to others?

I gave my child away because I was afraid that if she was there with me,I would be partisan towards her. In those days,we hardly had enough to eat. I sang in trains for food. I was afraid that the mother inside me would feed an extra morsel to own daughter and tell others,“This was all we had today. Now drink some water and go to sleep.” I didn’t want this to happen.

Anuradha Mascarenas: Do political parties invite you for programmes? Has any party invited you to join it?

No. They know my answer. I say to them,if I come to your rally and you win the election,then your opponent will be angered. I don’t want this.

Ajay Khape: Tell us about the first speech you gave at Balgandharva Rangmandir.

That speech turned my life upside down. I had come to drop my daughter at the Dagduseth Halwai Trust after hearing about them. I had to change four trains to reach Pune as I had no money for tickets. When one TC told me to get down,I did so and boarded another train. After reaching Pune,I was going toward the Dagdusheth Temple and passed by Balgandharva Rangmandir. While I was passing,I read outside that a programme was going on inside. The programme was about India-Russia friendship pact. I thought that it was a big moment that two countries are signing a pact. So out of curiosity I tried to enter the auditorium. I asked the guards,jau ka? (Can I enter?). He said ‘no’,because I had no proper clothes. So I turned back. On my way,I saw the statue of Jhansi Ki Raani there,with her sword and Damodar,her child,strapped to her back. I thought she was asking me,“Have you given up?” I said “No.” I went to the other gate and told them my husband was inside the auditorium and I wanted to call him out. He somehow let me in. Inside there were very important people: Politicians,officers,actors. I went in while a leader from Kashmir was speaking. When he finished and got down from the stage,I spoke with him and requested him to give me a chance to speak. He agreed. I went up and spoke. And sang. The audience was thrilled. Later many important people,including Sunil Dutt,came and met me there. I became known since then. That moment made me big.

Anuradha Mascerenhas: People get inspiration from great men. Who is your source of inspiration?

Hunger is inspiration. Hunger taught me lessons nobody else did. Bhookh sab se badi hai. I could understand Sant Tukaram and Sant Dnyaneshwar only when I had a full stomach. You cant learn things when your stomach is empty.