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Journalism of Courage
It often starts with small things. You remind your child to take a jacket or umbrella on a slightly cool or rainy morning. You check if the homework is complete or help tidy up a project. You send a note to the teacher when the
assignment is not clear. You step in when your child is left out of a school activity. At this time it feels natural. You are being careful, supportive, involved. Then someone uses the term helicopter parent and you begin to
wonder. Are you doing too much, or are you just being responsible.
Parenting today, especially in Indian cities, is like walking a fine line. On one side is care and guidance, on the other is control. With rising competition, constant comparison and the pressure to achieve, parents believe that every choice matters. The result is that we often step in quickly, sometimes more than necessary. The question is whether this helps children grow or holds them back.
Helicopter parenting as an idea first came up in the West in the 1990s. It described parents who stay too close to their children, monitoring every step and protecting them from all difficulty. In India too, the idea has become
familiar. Such parents are not neglectful. They are often highly invested. The concern is when involvement turns into interference.
What begins with care can turn into control. The parent finishes the project, resolves every small fight, chooses activities, and makes decisions before the child has a chance. Over time the child may lose opportunities to think, decide and even fail. Studies have shown that children of very involved parents may struggle with anxiety, low confidence and decision making. A childhood without small challenges can make it harder to handle bigger struggles later in life.
In India, the matter is more complicated. Family involvement is common and often expected. Career choices, friendships and even hobbies are shaped by parents and extended family. Parental authority is rarely questioned. But today’s children grow up in a world that is more individual, more global, and they look for independence. The gap between tradition and modern life creates tension in many homes.
So how do we find balance. One way is to ask ourselves why we are stepping in. Is it because the child truly cannot manage, or because it is hard for us to watch them struggle. Is our advice needed, or is it about our own fear of
outcomes. Sometimes stepping back is not about leaving. It is about giving trust and space.
Letting go is never easy. Watching a child forget homework, make a mistake or feel embarrassed can be painful. Yet these moments build responsibility and resilience. They prepare children for the real world where failure and discomfort are part of daily life.
Supportive parenting does not mean being absent. Children should know that we are there when needed, but also that we believe they can manage on their own. The real message is simple. I believe you can handle this. If you cannot, I am here to help you find a way.
Parenting is not a race. It is a relationship. And relationships grow with trust, respect and space. The next time you find yourself hovering, pause and ask if it is for the child’s benefit or to calm your own worry.
Sometimes the best way to love is to step back and let them grow.
