📣 For more lifestyle news, click here to join our WhatsApp Channel and also follow us on Instagram
© IE Online Media Services Pvt Ltd
Tags:
Journalism of Courage
What’s the duration of an ideal kiss? While the responses may be subjective, a widely popular idea is that it should be a minimum of six seconds long. Based on research by renowned couples expert Dr John Gottman, this is how long it takes for oxytocin, the bonding hormone, to be released. Gottman suggests that a deliberate, longer kiss creates stronger intimacy and trust between partners. To verify this, we reached out to Dr Neha Parashar, Consultant Psychiatrist and relationship expert at Cadabams Mindtalk.
“Yes, it is true that a six-second kiss can release oxytocin,” Dr Parashar confirmed. Oxytocin is a neurochemical that plays a crucial role in social bonding, trust, and intimacy. “When you engage in a meaningful kiss lasting at least six seconds, your brain signals the release of a cocktail of feel-good chemicals, including oxytocin.”
She explains that a six-second-long kiss is a deliberate pause from the hustle and bustle of daily life, allowing partners to be fully present. “A quick, distracted peck on the cheek doesn’t have the same effect because it doesn’t allow your brain enough time to release these powerful bonding chemicals.”
According to Dr Parashar, oxytocin lowers your defences and fosters closeness and security with your partner. “It’s the same hormone released during hugging, cuddling, childbirth, and breastfeeding, which strengthens bonds, and in romantic relationships, it solidifies your emotional connection, making you feel more attached and in love.” A six-second kiss is, thus, more than a physical act. It’s a potent way to communicate love, affection, and commitment on a biochemical level.
While the duration of a kiss is an important factor, it isn’t the only one. “Think of it as a small yet powerful tool in your relationship toolkit.”
According to science, couples who kiss more often report higher levels of happiness and connection. However, Dr Prashar stresses that quality matters too. “A six-second kiss is a simple way to ensure you’re not just going through the motions but making each kiss meaningful.”
Kissing can serve as a “barometer” of a relationship’s health. A decline in the frequency or quality of kisses can signal disconnection, while consciously sharing longer, passionate kisses can rekindle the spark and improve emotional and sexual satisfaction.
She further clarifies that while six seconds is a guideline, the ideal duration varies from couple to couple and situation to situation. “The key is being present and attuned to your partner. Sometimes a long, lingering kiss is exactly what you both need; other times, a series of shorter, affectionate kisses might be best. The intention and emotion behind the kiss are what truly matter.”
Dr Prashar affirms that the ideal duration of the kiss can vary. “People have different comfort levels. Some enjoy long, passionate kisses; others prefer shorter, frequent displays of affection. Personality, past experiences, and attachment styles all play a role.”
“Cultural norms also differ. In many Western cultures, kissing on the lips is common romantic affection, but in some Eastern and Middle Eastern cultures, public kissing is rare or discouraged.”
Dr Parashar warns that getting too worked up on timing the kiss can be stressful. “Consciously counting seconds takes you out of the moment, creating pressure and anxiety. Kissing should be natural, not a performance. Spontaneity is key. Forced timing can remove authenticity and make kissing feel like a chore. Overthinking kills intimacy. When you’re in your head, you’re not in your heart.” She advises focusing on the feeling. “Let the kiss flow naturally. Communicate with your partner about what you enjoy. Open communication is key to a fulfilling relationship.”
