📣 For more lifestyle news, click here to join our WhatsApp Channel and also follow us on Instagram
© IE Online Media Services Pvt Ltd
Tags:
Journalism of Courage
Many people might relate to reaching out to an ex, especially late at night, but it can also open a Pandora’s box of emotions.
Actor Arjun Kapoor, who recently announced his breakup with Malaika Arora, admitted to sending late-night texts to an ex-girlfriend in a recent interview with Mashable India.
While the act might seem harmless to some, it can blur lines and create confusion in moving on or maintaining healthy relationships. During a lighthearted game of ‘Never Have I Ever,’ the Singham Again star was asked if he had ever sent a late-night text to a 3 am friend. After admitting he had, the host playfully followed up with, ‘Have you ever sent a late-night text to an ex?’ Kapoor held up the “I Have” placard. Turning to the audience, he quipped, “Idhar kaun hai vo jhootha jo bol raha hai kabhi ex ko message nahi kiya hai?” (Who here is lying about never texting an ex?).
Despite the fun nature of this interaction, the key question is: when is it appropriate to contact an ex, and how can one ensure it doesn’t lead to unnecessary complications?
Gurleen Baruah, existential psychotherapist at That Culture Thing, says, “Reconnecting with an ex can sometimes be beneficial, but it largely depends on the maturity and dynamics of the people involved. Relationships evolve, and sometimes people grow out of romantic connections while valuing their bond.”
She adds, “If there’s a genuine friendship, mutual respect, and the ability to support each other without unresolved feelings clouding the dynamic, it can be an enriching connection. However, this depends on how fresh the breakup is, whether both have had time to heal and the kind of bond they share now.”
Baruah mentions that reaching out to an ex late at night is one of those things that feels universal, yet it’s so personal to each individual. “It often happens in moments when emotions run high — when the quiet of the night brings out thoughts and feelings we’ve been avoiding all day. It might not make sense rationally, but emotions often operate differently from logic.”
Loneliness often plays a big role, she adds. The stillness of nighttime magnifies everything — doubts, regrets, and the ache of missing someone who once felt like home. Even if the breakup felt right, attachments don’t just vanish overnight.
“Substances sometimes factor in, too. Lowered inhibitions from alcohol or other substances can make it easier to hit “send” on a message you might hesitate over during the day. In those moments, the usual filters — like questioning whether it’s a good idea — tend to disappear,” she adds.
Often, though, the reasons for the text have less to do with the ex and more to do with filling a void. “It might be an attempt to soothe unresolved emotions, seek validation, or romanticise the past while conveniently forgetting why things ended. Those late-night memories rarely come with a reality check,” notes Baruah.
A key part of boundary-setting is going inward and reflecting on your emotions and needs. “Taking time to sit with the pain, process it, and ask yourself, What lessons can I take from this? What do I need to heal? is essential,” suggests Baruah.
She continues, “Respect plays a huge role here. Your ex is no longer your emotional support, and it’s important not to take their time or energy for granted. This might mean refraining from impulsively calling or texting them whenever you feel overwhelmed.”
Ultimately, boundaries are about understanding, acknowledging, and accepting your emotions while extending the same respect to your ex. “By prioritising your healing and recognising the need for space, you can honour your needs and theirs without overstepping,” says Baruah.
