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Farah Khan recalls failed IVF attempts, how Shirish Kunder stood by her: ‘He has literally washed, bathed, cleaned me up’; emotional support partners can offer

"Children were and are his best friends...he spends the maximum time with them," Farah Khan reflected on husband Shirish's bond with their three kids

Farah Khan Shirish KunderFarah Khan recalls the support from Shirish Kunder (Photo: Express Archives)

Filmmaker and YouTuber Farah Khan recently went down memory lane, recalling minute details of her triplet pregnancy after IVF or in vitro fertilisation. “Oh my God. He was wonderful. I used to go to the hospital every other day. One and a half hour drive to the hospital, there was not a single time where Shirish has not come with me or been with me or looked after me…even after the pregnancy,” the 60-year-old told friend and tennis icon Sania Mirza on her YouTube podcast.

Further elaborating how Shirish was with her throughout the journey, Farah continued, “He has literally washed me and bathed me and cleaned me up…all sorts of things that a husband maybe should not see…but he was absolutely wonderful…and even the times when it failed, he was a great support and he said, ‘It’s fine even if we don’t have children. What will happen? We are happy now, so we will continue that…”

Mentioning that Shirish, who is eight years younger than her, has a friendly bond with the children — Czar, Anya and Diva– she said, “I knew how badly he wanted kids. He is eight years younger than me.. The children were and are his best friends…he spends the maximum time with them.”

Revealing how she was overwhelmed, plausibly owing to the hormonal injections, when IVF failed the first two times, Farah said, “I used to wonder, the first two times it didn’t work….I was crying in bed for two days and didn’t realise I wanted to be a mother this badly. I was 42 when I became pregnant. I had failed IVF twice. I used to be crying and crying because of the hormones, too, which were pumped in. I used to cry at the drop of a hat. I was also shooting Om Shanti Om at the same time.”

Relationships thrive on support (Photo: Freepik)

Taking a leaf out of her emotional diary, let’s explore the emotional support a partner can offer during challenging times like pregnancy.

Farah Khan’s recent reflection on her husband, Shirish, is the kind of story that quietly reveals a truth we often forget. Real relationships are not built on grand gestures or glamorous posts; they are built in hospital corridors, in moments of vulnerability, and in the raw, unfiltered space where one partner chooses to stand by another when the world turns away, said Delnna Rrajesh, psychotherapist and life coach.

According to Delnna, this is “not filmi love”. “This is emotional maturity at its highest frequency. This is what real partnership looks like. It is quiet. It is unglamorous. But it is profound. As a psychotherapist, I see so many couples struggle because their love is based on roles and expectations. Who earns more? Who cooks more? Who sacrifices more? But the strongest relationships rise the moment these roles dissolve and the focus shifts to the human being in front of you. The person, not the position. The partner, not the responsibility,” said Delnna.

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One of the reasons that Khan’s story touches such a deep nerve and resonates with many is that it reveals what most people secretly long for. “To be cared for without being judged. To be supported without being shamed. To be held through the ugliest, most unguarded phases of life,” said Delnna.

Delnna described how many partners today hesitate to show their weaker sides. “They fear disgust, rejection, loss of attraction, or emotional withdrawal. In that fear, they end up performing strength rather than sharing truth. And that performance destroys intimacy. Because true intimacy is not built on perfection. It is built on the courage to reveal the parts of yourself that you cannot control,” said Delnna.

 

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Tags:
  • emotional farah khan IVF IVF babies IVF treatment marital relationships mental health pregnancy relationships Shirish Kunder
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