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Journalism of Courage
Veteran actor Poonam Dhillon, 63, recently reflected on her divorce from producer Ashok Thakeria, nine years after their marriage. “Now, when you look back, you really have to rethink because it was many years ago. As actors, what happens is, you live a very protected life. You don’t meet too many people. We start shooting in the morning and come back at night, day after day. At least in my days, it was almost 30 days a month of outdoors. You weren’t meeting any real people your age. So, you didn’t have a judgment of really how your life partner should be,” the Noorie actor said.
Detailing her family background, the actor who got married in 1988, and has two children, shared, “I came from a very strict family, so I wasn’t allowed to date or go out or get to meet people. Whatever little teenage thing…you did chupke chupke (in hiding), which is not the way. Today, when I have grown up, I want my kids to meet people for them to know what they are looking for.”
Adding that her ex-husband is a “nice person,” she continued: “My ex-husband is a very nice person. But two nice people do not necessarily make a good couple. Upbringing, values, and interests are different. It wasn’t that he was a violent or bad guy or an alcoholic. But certain things like compatibility. I have never been exposed to any of these in-depth things. So, now I realise that it is important to get to know the person to some extent. In my case, it was just non-exposure, very strict parents, and meeting somebody whom I thought was a very, very nice person. That was it.”
She, however, expresses gratitude and admits that she considers herself “blessed” that no one treated her differently post her separation. “In any industry, any place, in any situation, how you get treated is how you behave yourself. I was fearful that my friends or their husbands would start treating me differently post-divorce, but I was lucky and blessed that nobody changed their attitude or started making indecent proposals. My whole world was so focused on my two kids,” she told ANI.
Delnna Rrajesh, psychotherapist, healer, and life coach, said that while two individuals may stop being partners, they don’t have to become enemies. “That isn’t weakness. That is emotional mastery,” she told indianexpress.com, adding that peace is the most powerful closure.
“Sometimes, the most mature decision is to part ways with compassion, not because love failed, but because it evolved. Since staying would mean self-abandonment, and leaving becomes the kindest thing both people can do,” Delnna shared.
In fact, healing isn’t linear; some days, love feels exciting again, while on others, wounds resurface, and that’s a cycle. Delnna stressed that it is essential to prioritise compatibility over fleeting chemistry, as emotional safety is what sustains a relationship in the long run.
