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Journalism of Courage
Love after marriage often reveals sides of a relationship that dating never quite does. Actor Parineeti Chopra, who is expecting her first child with husband Raghav Chadha, reflected on these shifts in the latest episode of her new YouTube podcast, where she invited Raghav as her guest. The couple discussed love, compatibility, and how marriage has reshaped their emotional connection.
When Raghav asked, “What have you learnt about love post marriage?” Parineeti replied, “Whatever I have learnt about love after marriage is all from you. Raghav is very simple and emotionally balanced, while I am more like a volcano, I erupt every now and then. I lack patience, and I have to express everything I feel. But after marriage, I’ve learnt that love is patience, respect, and not about being selfish. You’ve calmed me down without ever lecturing me. When I see how patient you are, I feel guilty about certain things I’ve done, and it makes me want to be a better person.”
Later in the conversation, when Raghav asked, “Who is more romantic?” she playfully replied, “Raghav’s romance is aggressive care. Daant daant ke khayal rakhta hai (He scolds you while taking care of you).”
Psychologist Anjali Gursahaney, founder of The Bold Space, tells indianexpress.com, “Some people express love through protectiveness or even sternness because that is how they have been conditioned to show concern. For them, scolding or being extra cautious is not meant to control but to safeguard the other person from harm. This form of ‘aggressive care’ often comes from deep responsibility and a desire to make sure their partner feels secure.”
However, she notes that such expressions can sometimes be misinterpreted as criticism, making clear communication essential. “The person offering care needs to balance firmness with gentleness, while the partner receiving it can learn to see the intention behind the tone. Mutual understanding allows the couple to transform even a stern gesture into a language of love rather than conflict.”
“Emotional maturity in marriage grows when partners recognise that love is not about immediate gratification but about sustaining harmony over time,” explains Gursahaney. “Couples who cultivate patience and respect learn to give space to each other’s differences without making it a battle of right or wrong.
When one partner is more emotionally expressive and the other is naturally composed, friction can arise if one feels dismissed or the other feels overwhelmed. The key is learning to regulate these differences through empathy — the expressive partner practising calmness, and the composed partner practising openness.” She adds that shared rituals, active listening, and consciously prioritising the relationship over ego help build this balance.
“When two partners have contrasting temperaments, the relationship often becomes a mirror that highlights qualities each one lacks but secretly needs,” says Gursahaney. “A fiery partner brings passion, spontaneity, and emotional honesty, while a steady partner contributes calm, stability, and reason. Instead of clashing, these qualities can complement one another if both partners are willing to learn.
She concludes, “This dynamic creates an environment where each person feels inspired to grow without being forced to change who they are. In this way, emotional balance acts like a natural check and support system, allowing partners to evolve into more grounded, compassionate, and resilient versions of themselves.”
