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Forget Gene Wilder, forget Johnny Depp, in fact forget Willy Wonka too for a moment. Think Charlie. For, this is what the latest iteration of the Roald Dahl classic essentially is. Chalamet is so sweet and uncomplicated – more a lump of sugar than a bean of cocoa – that his Willy could pass off for the innocent Charlie (without the need for a lifetime of chocolate supply, as he can whip them up on demand).
There are no daddy issues, only fond mama memories – and few mamas evoke as much fondness as Sally Hawkins (she appears briefly). There are two Dickensian characters exploiting an orphan (among other people), three big chocolate businessmen running a cartel, one corruptible police chief, and one pliable priest. However, nothing terribly bad happens in this Warner Brothers film – unless you count being almost drowned in gallons of melted chocolate.
Given the waves of blood and bodies coming out at us from the big screen these days, Wonka is in a lot of ways a relief – and a sign that Hollywood is marking a change of season to Christmas. However, it struggles to be anything more than another trinket on that overladen tree. Amidst the very many talented actors here (a lot of them unsurprisingly British) – from Colman to Carter, and Atkinson to Key – Chalamet as Willy Wonka struggles to find the right beat. He is impossibly optimistic and naive for a man trying to make his fortune with no money in his pocket, too joyful for a grieving son, and too old to love chocolates for just the love (and not the commerce) of them.
There is no sense of a journey in his arc, from landing up broke in an unspecified European city; to finding himself cheated by a landlady (Colman, so magnificently malicious) and her wheeler-dealer, slightly foolish handyman (Davis); to finding similarly trapped allies and a good friend, Noodle (Lane), in those lodgings; to making the city fall in love with his chocolates; to setting up a shop; to losing it; to facing near death; etc etc. Chalamet’s expressions barely change through it all.
The songs and dance are average too, not helping him evoke the magic either. The latter is provided by other, unexpected scenes, like pirouetting around a giraffe (briefly) or flying with flamingos or conversing across four windows on a snowy night. Willy’s foil this time is Noodle, and if Chalamet is too young-old somehow, a younger girl playing Noodle would perhaps have given an extra tenderness to their relationship.
The best parts of this film are when Hugh Grant shows up as Oompa Loompa – he is doing that a lot these days, turning up in meany, not meaty, roles, and just stealing the show. When his tiny orange man in green hair says he will sing and dance a tune that you can’t get out of your head, he is right. However, even that is only a brief sugar rush.
And that is how it goes: Wonka is that frothy chocolate drink you grab on the go, as you window shop for other things; it is not really the hot chocolate you snuggle into bed with on a cold winter night. Your pick.
Wonka movie director: Paul King
Wonka movie cast: Timothée Chalamet, Calah Lane, Olivia Colman, Tom Davis, Peterson Joseph, Matt Lucas, Mathew Baynton, Keegan-Michael Key, Jim Carter, Ron Atkinson
Wonka movie rating: 2.5 stars
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