A glass of milk,eggs and two slices of bread were waiting for me as I woke up the morning after I was discharged from hospital. My mother-in-law was standing by the bedside to help me get up. Earlier in the morning,she had taken my baby to her room once I had fed him so that I could catch some sleep after a long night. After a couple of hours,it was time for a proper breakfast. Ensuring that I eat something every two hours,Amma made the special and hugely popular dish — rice fried in ghee with onions and garlic that women get to eat post delivery in Kerala. Lunch followed soon,and then evening and late evening snacks of oats,soup and fruits before it was time for dinner. And it did not end there,as I found myself sipping a glass of warm milk before going to bed.
This special care was not limited to food. My mother-in-law and mother also ensured that I get adequate rest and sleep. As a result,I neither had to bother about household chores,nor had to do much for the baby except for taking care of his feeds. Lunch would be ready without me telling the cook what was to be made,vegetables and other stuff would be ordered or bought and my sons nappies and other clothes washed,dried and folded.
A month later,when my mother-in-law left,I was tense. Still fighting the baby blues,I wondered if things would be as easy now. But with my mother still around,it was not so bad. My special food regime was over but my mother saw to it that I took frequent meals and took care of all the washing required for the baby,besides cooking when the cook fell sick. Though I was recovering well after the Caesarean,she would not let me do anything.
When my new full-time maid joined,who was to cook,clean,and babysit when I go to office,I was relieved that my mother would get some rest. A trained nurse but without a diploma,the maid exhibited expertise in handling the baby as she gave him oil massage and bath,which was reassuring. But things were not all hunky-dory given her forgetfulness as she would not do half the things I would tell her to. I later realised that she wasnt forgetful but is hard of hearing,which also explains why she is so loud.
Not used to conversing with somebody with such a high-pitched tone,I was making my mother do most of the talking. The arrangement was fine,and I was gradually setting down in the role of a mother,without having to bother much about anything else. But only till my mother was here. With a promise to come back once I joined office,she went back,leaving me with my baby who needs me now all the time,an office-going husband who leaves home at 4 pm — if there is no work in the morning — and comes back at 2 am,and the help — to manage. Once the maid leaves around 7 pm,I am all alone with my baby,who is sometimes fussy,sometimes teary,sometimes hungry and sometimes just wants to be held. The small window I get when he sleeps is the time I have to finish my dinner even if it is only 8 pm and do other work like sterilising his bottles,taking my medicines and,if possible,watching my favourite show Masterchef Australia on TV. You might say I should be sleeping when the baby sleeps,but it is easier said than done,believe me. Besides,I seem to have got used to just five hours sleep a day.
All this was so easy when my mother and mother-in-law were around that I initially found the new life more difficult than it sounds. Things started to look up once I realised that they have a life of their own and I need to learn the ropes. Having used to an easy life when we would order food from outside when the cook bunked,go out every weekend and watch movies at home on off days,it took me some time to adjust to the new life. I dont remember going to doctor for a common cold,but the same condition now bothers me no end as this directly affects my child,and I find myself seeking medical advice.
But I am not complaining any more. My son is two and a half months old now and it seems we have always been together. Hence,my advice to new mothers in the same situation would be not to get discouraged when certain things dont work out. If feeling low,talk it out with your husband or friends. Talking to other moms who have gone through a similar situation or are in the same boat also helps. And then your mother or mother-in-law could be physically far off,but are just a phone call away. When my son was down with cold and I was nervous,the first thing I did was call up my mother-in-law. And after he had a stressful night due to colic pain,my stress-reliever was the call I made to my parents.
I still have two months maternity leave left and am worried how will I manage after that,but dont want to spoil my present thinking too much about future. There is nothing like watching your child grow. With his toothless smile my son makes me forget all my tiredness and sleeplessness,even at 3 am.
Not getting enough me time to do things you once loved to,you may get depressed,but time management is key. I felt happy when I cooked orange chicken and fried rice last Friday and baked penne with minced chicken and cheese and caramel pudding the very next day even as my husband took care of our baby. It was all the more relaxing when the dishes turned out to be successful. Leaving the little one with his father,I even sneaked out to get a haircut that was long overdue. My husband and I have now found the perfect way to unwind after a busy week — him spending quality time with our son and I watching them and doing things I cannot during the week.
As new parents,we have also become confident of travelling with the baby. Besides those trips to the doctor,we have visited an ailing relative,gone to malls,attended a UID camp and even spent time at the birth registration office in Gurgaon to get my sons birth certificate. You need to keep certain things in mind while going out with your little one. Watch this space for more on travelling with the baby. I have to wind up now,my baby is up!
