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Journalism of Courage
In an interview recently, actor Esha Deol described the restrictions she faces at home during menstruation and how discussions around bodily functions were largely absent in her household growing up.
In a conversation with Hauterrfly, she mentioned that while menstruating, “We were not allowed to go to the temple and pray. When it is done, you can wash your hair and then you can pray. That’s just an orthodox way and I follow. I respect it if that’s a part of the house you live in.”
She went on to add that sex was never openly discussed at home and she received sex education in school. “I learnt about it at school. Our school had sex education, and they taught us well and at the right time. And it is important. There are a few parents who feel uncomfortable and shy.”
This highlights a common gap in family communication, prevalent in many households across India, regarding such crucial topics. This lack of open conversation can have far-reaching effects on a young woman’s understanding of her body, her mental health, and her self-confidence.
Malika Chandra, psychotherapist at MC Psychotherapy, tells indianexpress.com, “Lack of communication can make it more likely for young women to believe harmful myths and misconceptions about menstruation or sex. This could include unrealistic expectations that can contribute to feelings of guilt, shame, and lowered self-esteem.”
Lack of proper knowledge and associated feelings of guilt may also leave young women more vulnerable to sexual exploitation, Chandra continues, even in their relationships in the form of a misunderstanding about the concept of consent.
Chandra says, “The act of not talking about sex or menstruation as it pertains to women, can implicitly signal to young girls that these topics are taboo or a source of shame. This shame can become so internalised that it only reveals itself later in life and may affect a woman’s sexual experience with their partner or their self image.”
This is a commonly observed phenomenon in India where discussing sexual health or even buying sanitary products without a newspaper to hide it is often considered wrong, leading to many women not being in touch with their sexuality in a healthy way, she notes.
“There are benefits to both,” remarks Chandra. “Learning about sex education in school is done by professionals who may deliver more factual information in more technical ways. This is necessary for young girls. Further, the school environment may reinforce the idea of how important learning about sex and menstruation is for one’s physical and psychological health.”
By the same token, she adds that learning about these topics at home “establishes a different comfort level and destigmatises them further.” Young girls may feel that their family is also supportive and understanding. The validation of one’s family in reducing taboo around sex and menstruation in society, can mean a lot more to a young girl than when she learns about such topics in school.
According to Chandra, these are some strategies parents can adopt:
– Build an open communication dynamic where children don’t feel ashamed to ask you anything or confide in you about their sexual health.
– Educate yourself as much as possible so that you relay factual information.
– Teach them about consent and good touch versus bad touch at a young age.
– In terms of positive body image, you can model positive self talk and also be mindful of how you discuss other people’s bodies in front of your children. This will likely influence how they assess themselves.
– Educate them about social media and how to safety use it, keeping in mind their own mental health and safety.
