‘I think it was important for my father’: Sagarika Ghatge, who welcomed baby boy with Zaheer Khan, reveals how her dad conducted a background check on the former cricketer

In an interview with Hauterrfly, she said, “When my father got to know about it, he had messaged Zaheer’s coach, Anshuman Gaekwad, because he’s related to us. Kaka’s some relation or the other. So he messaged him, and then he (Anshuman) sent a message to Zaheer, saying, ‘Oh I’ve heard you’re friendly with my niece.’ Zaheer is showing me this, and he’s like, ‘I’m not replying.’ I said, ‘Don’t reply. I don’t know whatever that is’ (sic).”

She added, “So, my father actually got his background check done very properly. And all he’s like, ‘Oh, he’s one of the nicest cricketers.’ That is all everyone told him. But I think it was important for my father to do his due diligence.”

Is it common for families to conduct background checks on prospective partners?

Gurleen Baruah, existential psychotherapist at That Culture Thing, tells indianexpress.com, “In India, and likely in other cultures as well, families conducting background checks on prospective partners remains a common practice, even in modern times. This stems from a deep-rooted need for security — both emotional and social — where marriage is often seen not just as a personal union but as a family decision with long-term consequences. Parents, shaped by their own experiences and societal expectations, seek assurances about financial stability, family background, and character, hoping to minimise future uncertainties.” 

For daughters, in particular, she says this concern is heightened by cultural norms that tie a woman’s well-being and social standing “closely to her marital life.” Even as individual choice gains more acceptance, the underlying fear of risk and societal judgment keeps this practice alive, reflecting a broader existential struggle with trust, control, and the unpredictability of relationships.

Some red flags families should look out for 

The real red flags lie in deeper behavioural patterns that shape relationships over time. “One key concern is avoidance of accountability — if someone consistently blames circumstances, past relationships, or others for their failures, they may struggle with self-reflection and mature conflict resolution. Similarly, an overly rigid or controlling nature, whether in beliefs, gender roles, or lifestyle expectations, can signal an inability to adapt to a partner’s evolving needs,” states Baruah. 

The expert stresses that another sign to watch for is emotional avoidance. If a person dismisses difficult conversations, refuses to engage with emotions, or consistently deflects concerns, it can lead to an emotional void in the long run. Relationships thrive on emotional intimacy, not just external stability. 

“And perhaps one of the most telling signs is inconsistency in how they treat people across social hierarchies. This often points to hidden entitlement, which can manifest in power struggles within marriage. Ultimately, no amount of background checking can guarantee a successful relationship, but observing how someone engages with uncertainty, takes responsibility for their choices, and navigates human connection offers a deeper understanding of their capacity for a healthy, evolving partnership,” Baruah concludes. 

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