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Journalism of Courage
We all have been head over heels for someone who is just not that into us. Either they don’t want to define your relationship (read: situationship) or they leave you in a grey area that makes you even more confused. If you are figuring out how to get over them, it’s time we dish out some expert-approved tips to help you move on from that someone.
First things first. There is no point chasing people who don’t want you. Instead of obsessing over them and yearning for their time and effort, it’s important to learn to start putting yourself first.
While getting over someone can be an emotionally challenging journey, it is a crucial step towards personal growth and emotional well-being.
“Allow yourself to grieve. Acknowledge your feelings of sadness, anger and loss. It’s essential to process these emotions, instead of suppressing them,” explains Dr Sanil Sinhasan, consultant, psychiatry, SRV Hospitals, Chembur.
Especially if it’s a one-sided relationship, Nishtha Kavita Grover, a psychologist, says that it can lead to harbouring expectations for reciprocity. “When it does not happen, an individual starts self-blaming or creating a negative narrative of oneself.”
To prevent this from happening, she advises garnering the self-awareness that the other person is not carrying the same basket of feelings as you. “This awareness helps in calming down a myriad of chaos running inside the mind.”
It’s also important to take them down the illusionary pedestal that you have placed them on. “Chasing someone can be emotionally draining and can drastically impact your ability to feel confident. Therefore, it’s essential to be the hero of your own life and build a pedestal you feel confident standing on,” Grover shares.
One can achieve this by “channeling your energy into setting and achieving new goals”. “Eat healthily, exercise, and get enough sleep. Engage in activities you enjoy to boost your self-esteem. Reach out to friends and family who can offer emotional support and understanding during this difficult time,” says Dr Sinhasan.
Lastly, consider creating intentional conscious distance. “Try to not scroll over their profile pictures or tracking their social media activities. Not only is it detrimental but also blurs the line between what you are thinking in your head and what’s happening out there in the real world,” recommends Grover.
However, if despite trying all these different techniques you still feel it’s difficult getting over someone, consider seeking professional therapy. “Sometimes our need for validation originates from certain emotional wounds, which requires proper therapy and self-work,” Grover says.
Healing takes time, and it’s essential to be patient with yourself. There is no set timeline for moving on. Remember that getting over someone is a unique journey for each individual. Be compassionate with yourself and take the time you need to heal. In time, you’ll find yourself on the path to a brighter future filled with new possibilities and personal growth.
Rikki Cloos, an attachment and relationship writer, also shared some ways to move on from the person:
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