‘It creates guilt and…’: Esha Deol on new dynamic with Bharat Takhtani and not considering herself a single mother after separation; how to prioritise children

Esha spoke about how separating couples need to approach their new reality with maturity and a focus on their children’s well-being. “It’s just that in life, sometimes, due to certain things, roles change. And if it doesn’t work out in a certain equation of what two people were at one point, you must take it upon you, especially when you have children, the two mature individuals must take it upon them to work out in another dynamic but keep the unit together for the sake of the children. And that’s exactly what Bharat and I do.” 

She also touched on the challenges of balancing work and parenting, sharing that managing time thoughtfully is key: “Because without it, if your schedule goes for a toss, it creates guilt and there is mismanagement.”

So, is it helpful for separated parents to avoid using the term ‘single parent’ if both are actively co-parenting?

Neha Parashar, clinical psychologist at Mindtalk, tells indianexpress.com, “Yes, language shapes perception, both for parents and children. When separated parents consciously avoid the term ‘single parent’ in situations where both are actively involved, it can reduce the psychological burden and stigma often associated with broken homes. Instead, using terms like ‘co-parent’ signals collaboration and shared responsibility, which can provide a greater sense of emotional security for the child.”

For children, she adds that family stability is more about “consistent love, communication, and predictability than about living under the same roof.” If both parents remain emotionally present and involved, children are more likely to feel that their family is still whole — just structured differently. 

How can separated couples develop a new ‘equation’ that prioritises the children

Parashar states, “One key approach is to treat co-parenting like a professional collaboration, focusing on logistics, shared goals, and respectful communication while setting clear boundaries. It’s important that personal emotions such as guilt, anger, or grief be processed separately, ideally with the help of therapy or support networks, rather than spilling over into parenting decisions.”

Regular check-ins about the child’s needs (rather than the past relationship) can help maintain focus and prevent emotional entanglement, she states. Having written agreements or schedules also reduces ambiguity and conflict. When each parent feels emotionally safe and respected, they’re better able to show up fully for their child.

Some effective time management strategies for working parents post-separation

One of the most effective strategies is prioritising presence over perfection. “Setting aside regular, tech-free time, even 20-30 minutes a day, can help strengthen bonds and reduce parental guilt,” says Parashar.

Creating routines that are consistent but flexible can also help children feel secure while allowing working parents to manage their time better. 

Additionally, involving children in everyday tasks, like cooking, planning, or even tidying up, can turn chores into meaningful connection time. Parents should also remember to schedule time for themselves; emotional depletion affects the quality of parenting.

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