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Journalism of Courage
A comedian’s “product review” of a four-month-old baby has gone viral, leaving social media in stitches, and plenty of parents saying, “Yep, that’s accurate.”
Ross Pomerantz, better known online as “Corporate Bro,” shared the tongue-in-cheek review on Instagram, comparing his newborn to an “expensive SaaS subscription without a cancellation policy”. For the uninitiated, SaaS, or software as a service, refers to online software you pay for on a subscription basis.
In the clip, Pomerantz kicks things off with, “What’s up everyone? Here’s my four-month product review of this baby. Delivery takes a while, nine-plus months, but the product so far has exceeded expectations.”
He goes on to highlight the “super lightweight” frame, “surprisingly durable” construction, and the “chef’s kiss” scent of a newborn. The learning curve, he admits, is “steep”, but once you figure out the “crying = needs something algorithm”, it’s “pretty intuitive”.
The “smile feature” earns high marks from him, a “game-changer” that delivers “an instant dopamine hit every single time”. On the downside, battery life lasts about 90 minutes, and “sleep mode still has some bugs”, which he jokes will be patched in “the next update”.
Performance-wise, Pomerantz calls his baby “a machine” that “processes milk at incredible speeds” and converts it “directly to energy and growth”. He likens the child’s rapid learning to an AI model, “a lot like having your own personal LLM, if LLMs also peed on you”. Other standout features on his list: “enterprise-grade adorability,” “advanced grip functionality,” and “surprisingly good audio,” though he admits the volume could be “a little lower”.
His final verdict? The “cuddle feature” alone justifies the “premium pricing”, despite the “resource-intensive” maintenance. “I would definitely recommend this product for families. They require significant investment, but it’s worth it.”
The post has racked up nearly 17 million views, with comments matching his humour.
An Instagram user wrote, “Best supporting actor goes to the product.” Another parent commented, “I got the 2006 version. The first few updates were fantastic, the product gave no trouble at all as we updated our operating system to be compatible with it. We hit the glitch in “early teen” mode but thankfully that was debugged within a year and now the product works well again! Would recommend, 10 stars!”
A third comment read, “Customer support is virtually nonexistent. However there are some third party service providers who are great if you have an extra 5-6 figures at your disposal.”
A fourth commenter wrote, “I think we need the true product expert/ sales engineer aka mom to run this demo.”
A fifth user commented, “I’ve got the 2002, 2004, and 2008 models, great products. Watch out for when they go into “teen mode.”…makes you wish there was a return policy. After a few updates, you should be fine.”
Clearly, Pomerantz’s “review” tapped into the universal, and hilarious, realities of parenting.
