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Journalism of Courage
Yesterday, a very overwhelmed mother called to schedule an appointment for her teenage daughter, describing her as having gone “wild” and “out of control.” When asked for specifics, she said, “She got a nose piercing with her friends, and to add to my distress, her hair is now purple. I don’t recognise if I’m talking to my daughter or a clown.”
If this scenario sounds familiar, let’s delve into the nuances of a teenage mind and learn how to act as allies rather than agonised adults.
A big part of the transition from childhood to adolescence is learning to make decisions and taking on new responsibilities. While teenagers might complain about more assignments or an increasing workload at school, dressing is one area where many are excited to explore their newfound freedom. How your teen dresses not only affects how their peers see them but is also an important aspect of exploring their identity. Their choices may be offbeat and hard to understand, but acknowledging their perspective is the first step toward having an open-hearted conversation.
Teens experimenting with their wardrobe might reject the new sweatshirt you bought outrightly. Remind yourself that this has nothing to do with you. Their rejection of your choice doesn’t indicate disrespect, it simply reflects a difference of opinion.
Remarks like, “What is this weird stuff you are wearing?” and “How can you step out looking like that?” can feel like challenges to teens. Instead, you can offer your opinion by saying, “You look different than I had imagined. Care to explain your style?” This opens doors for communication and allows you an insight into their world.
This may sound old-fashioned, but trust me, it works. In any relationship, if an individual feels judged, they are likely to close themselves off. If you want your teen to share what is on their mind, allow them to express whatever thoughts they have. It may not align with yours, but patiently hearing them out will make them feel accepted. After listening, you can share your perspective, and they will be more willing to consider your expectations.
While teens might want to spend lavishly on luxurious, high-end items, it’s important to monitor and explain the importance of mindful spending and sustainability. Teach them that while it’s okay to indulge occasionally, blindly following peers and trends without considering expenses can lead to trouble.
If you feel your teen is unable to comprehend your concerns, don’t hesitate to reach out for professional help.
