‘If I ever loved anyone in my life, it was Yusuf’: Mumtaz reveals heartbreaking reason behind Madhubala and Dilip Kumar’s breakup; expert on emotional toll

Mumtaz added that Madhubala, who was battling a serious heart condition at the time, had confided in her. “Nobody can ever doubt that she was madly in love with him. But Dilip saab wanted a child, you see. Perhaps it was in this desperation to have a child that he married Saira. Madhubala told me herself… She would say, ‘If I ever loved anyone in my life, it was Yusuf. But when he found out that I can’t conceive…’ She would call him Yusuf. The doctor told her that she would die in childbirth because of her heart problem.” 

Despite the emotional weight of the situation, Mumtaz said she doesn’t hold it against him, “Every man wants a child. Despite being in love with her, he might have thought, ‘Let me try with another woman. ’ It’s so tragic that he didn’t have a child with Saira as well. I feel sorry for Saira; she’s a wonderful person. If they had a child, she would’ve been taken care of too.”

How common is it for people to end long-term relationships due to fertility concerns, and what kind of emotional toll does this take on both partners?

Psychologist Raashi Gurnani tells indianexpress.com, “It is more common than we might expect for individuals to end long-term relationships over fertility concerns, though the emotional landscape is deeply complex. For many, the desire to have biological children is deeply rooted in personal identity, cultural values, and future planning. When one partner is unable to conceive, the other may experience a grief-like response—mourning not only the potential child but also the imagined future they had built together.” 

Veteran actor Mumtaz has opened up about the late Madhubala’s heartbreak (Source: Express archive photo)

She adds, “This can trigger feelings of loss, guilt, shame, and inadequacy in the partner facing fertility issues, often leading to internalised blame. The person who initiates the breakup may simultaneously wrestle with guilt and emotional conflict, especially if the love remains but practical desires take precedence. Psychologically, this dynamic often reflects cognitive dissonance — a mental discomfort experienced when emotional bonds clash with unmet expectations of parenthood.”

In cases where a doctor advises against pregnancy due to health risks, how can individuals and couples process this information?

When a doctor advises against pregnancy due to health risks, individuals often experience a kind of anticipatory grief. They are grieving a potential that may never actualise. “This can be especially difficult in cultures where parenthood — particularly motherhood — is tightly bound with notions of fulfillment, purpose, or even societal status. Partners in such situations may struggle to reconcile their love for each other with the biological or medical limitations they face. It’s not uncommon for women to internalise the inability to carry a child as a failure of femininity, leading to a fractured self-concept. Emotionally, the couple must navigate acceptance (as defined by the stages of grief), while facing external pressure from family or society. Processing this shift often requires redefining what family means to them — whether that involves adoption, surrogacy, or a child-free life,” explains Gurnani. 

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