‘Chauthe dinn raat ko woh rone lagi’: When Aamir Khan admitted to giving Kiran Rao the silent treatment for four days straight; why it’s considered a relationship red flag

He continued, “So I remember that I wouldn’t speak for 3-4 days, I’d stay silent, and the other person… that’s not a good thing. I remember one day Kiran and I had something… You know how it happens between husband and wife, I don’t remember exactly what it was. There was some disagreement, and I was very hurt, so I stopped talking to her. Now we’re living in the same house, sleeping in the same room, on the same bed, but I’m not responding to what she’s saying, keeping it very cut-to-cut with her.”

The actor revealed that he had ignored her for four days, which left her in tears. “Ab jo insaan aapke saamne hai, uski bhi kaifiyat aap sochiye. Usko bhi hurt ho raha hai ki iss aadmi ka maine dil dukhaya hai. Aur ab main usko wapas jeetne ki koshish kar rahi hu par woh response hi nahi kar raha hai. Toh chauthe dinn raat ko woh ek point pe rone lagi. Unhone kaha, ‘Mujhe samajh mein nahi aa raha main kya karu. Aap toh bilkul respnd hi nahi kar rahe ho’ (Now think about the condition of the person in front of you. She’s also feeling hurt, thinking that she has upset me. And now she’s trying to win me back, but I’m not responding at all. On the fourth night, at one point, she began to cry. She said, ‘I don’t understand what I should do. You’re not responding at all’).”

So, why is the ‘silent treatment’ considered a red flag, and what emotional impact does it have on the person being ignored?

According to psychologist Anjali Gursahaney, founder of The Bold Space, “Being ignored after a disagreement often feels like being punished or abandoned. When someone with whom you are close shuts down communication, you may feel unseen, unloved, or as if your feelings don’t matter. This can lead to anxiety and insecurity.”

She adds that persistent silent treatment can erode self-worth. If the message becomes ‘I’m ignoring you, your attempts to communicate don’t matter,’ the ignored partner may begin to believe they are not valued or worthy. “Healthy relationships depend on open communication and emotional safety. If silence becomes a recurrent tool after conflict, it undermines trust, closeness, and the feeling that you can rely on your partner to be present. Over time, that builds distance,” notes the expert. 

Healthier communication strategies

Gursahaney suggests the following for healthier relationships:

• Ask for a pause/timeout: It’s okay to say, ‘I’m upset, I need some time to calm down,’ or ‘I need half an hour / a night / until tomorrow to collect my thoughts, but let’s talk after.’ This gives space, but signals intention to return to the conversation. 
• ‘I’ statements: Rather than placing blame (‘You always…,’ ‘You never…’), one can say: ‘I feel disrespected / hurt / overwhelmed when this happens,’ etc. This helps avoid triggering defensiveness. 
• Set boundaries about how to engage: For example, agree with your partner that if the conversation escalates beyond a certain point (in terms of volume/tone), one person can call for a pause, or both can agree to stop and revisit the topic when calmer. 
• Active listening and empathy: Try to understand the partner’s perspective, reflect back what you understand, show that you’re listening. This reduces miscommunication. 

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