‘I wanted to marry her immediately’: When 18-year-old Shashi Kapoor told his father about Jennifer Kendal; things that make people so sure about love

Recalling the moment in an old interview with a news portal before his death, he said, “When I saw Jennifer, when I was 18, I wanted to marry her immediately. My parents were (shocked expression) said, ‘My god 18 is a bit young’. So I said, ‘Okay, I’ll wait’. I waited two years, then they asked me ‘Do you still want to?’ I said, ‘Yes’ and they said okay.” 

Everything seemed to be going well in the couple’s life until everything came crashing down when Jennifer had passed away on September 7, 1984, due to colon cancer. In the same interview, when asked why he never remarried, Shashi Kapoor responded, “Oh Christ, no! I didn’t. Why? Because I don’t think I can. I know I can’t. I’ll never find anyone better. They just don’t make them like that anymore.”

But what makes someone so sure about love at such a young age?

When someone expresses certainty about marrying young, it can stem from both deep emotional maturity and youthful idealism — but the balance depends on their life experiences, self-awareness, and the nature of the relationship.

Everything seemed to be going well in the couple’s life until everything came crashing down when Jennifer had passed away on September 7, 1984, due to colon cancer. (Source: Express archive photo)

“Youthful idealism makes love feel intense and all-encompassing. At 18, emotions are often heightened, and individuals may believe they’ve found ‘the one’ based on passion and chemistry rather than long-term compatibility. Emotional maturity, on the other hand, includes understanding commitment, mutual respect, and the practicalities of a shared life. Some young individuals do possess this depth, often due to life experiences, family influence, or personal introspection,” explains psychologist Anjali Gursahaney.

In Shashi Kapoor’s case, his willingness to wait two years suggests he had a blend of both — romantic certainty but also the patience to respect his family’s wisdom.

Delayed gratification and long-term relationship satisfaction

Waiting for something one deeply desires often strengthens commitment. Gursahaney highlights that delayed gratification in relationships is linked to:

• Stronger emotional investment – The waiting period tests whether feelings are fleeting or enduring.
• Higher relationship satisfaction – “Research suggests that couples who work through challenges together (like parental hesitation) build resilience and appreciation for each other,” she says.
• Greater stability – Impulsivity can lead to rushed decisions, but those who wait often enter marriage with more clarity and conviction.

Losing a deeply loved spouse and emotional moving on

Grief in the face of losing a deeply cherished spouse is not just about missing a person but about losing a unique emotional connection that feels irreplaceable.

“Shashi Kapoor’s statement reflects how memory idealises a lost partner, making the idea of moving on feel impossible,” Gursahaney notes.

She further explains that couples who deeply intertwine their lives often feel that losing a spouse means losing a part of themselves. While some individuals remarry to fill the void, others hold onto their love as an enduring presence in their lives.

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