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Journalism of Courage
“We have changed so much after the pandemic.” This comment by 15-year-old Sana drew my attention so she elaborated, “We are trying so desperately to keep up with the beauty standards or being cool that we have stopped being kids. Friendships are fragile, groups are constantly changing every few months as everyone is looking for better opportunities to climb the social ladder. We are so fake to each other as we do not know how others will use our vulnerabilities against us.” When I wondered whether it has really changed or is it part of the middle and senior school experience she said, “When you were in school and you had a fight with a friend, both of you would leave the fight there and maybe come back the next day having forgotten about it. Pre-pandemic there would be some WhatsApp exchanges. However, if there is a fallout now, it spirals out of control on social media and when we return to the school the next day, battle lines are drawn and people are choosing sides — camera, action, drama! Is it a surprise that we are so depressed and anxious?”
Sana has an interesting way with words so there might be an inclination to dismiss it as a hyperbole. But her words resonated so much with some very unsettling conversations I have had with so many young people. They are all talking about the pressure they are experiencing with the demands of “beauty standards,” “being cool,” “hanging out with the popular crowd” etc. Yes, these pressures were always there but it seems they have been notched up to another level altogether. As the mental health struggles and suicide rates in young continue to rise, I wonder if they are trying to survive as metaphorical frogs in slowly cranked-up water that has reached boiling point. We are all pointing fingers at them for not being resilient enough or strong enough to take the heat but staying oblivious to the questions — What are they trying to survive? What threat is it posing to their mental health?
Sana had requested to meet a therapist as she was struggling with “anxiety, constant dread and sense of worthlessness.” Any person meeting her in a different context would be surprised as she was excelling in her studies, was popular and known as a brilliant debater. As she explained to me, “I am 15-year-old and I am already feeling burnt-out. I feel I am leading someone else’s life — trying to please everyone, be the best at everything, and stay on top of the game. Otherwise, I will be thrown out like rubbish.”
Very often, I am asked the question, “What can we do as a society to support our children with the mental health crisis that they are going through?” My answer inevitably is, “We have to go to schools.” It will take nothing less than a movement to bring about a social change and what better place to start that than in schools?
A while back there was an incident in a school when some Class IX girls took a stand on how the boys in the class commented on their bodies. The wise teacher decided to bring the conversation to the class circle time and built a safe space for girls to talk openly about the humiliation they had to face every day. The teacher later shared with me that what was remarkable was that despite the intensity and pain, there was no blame, and the boys apologised. Together they started talking about what they could do to make the class a safer and more respectful space for the girls and what steps could be taken if there was a transgression. This conversation created ripples of resistance as the girls were called to speak in the school assembly, and other classes started having conversations on gender politics and diversity too.
What if this could happen throughout their school life rather than just a one-off class — where issues of gender, sexuality, consent, disability, body types, caste, class, religion and so on could be discussed in safe spaces without judgement or shaming? What if schools could become spaces where conversations on the impact of social media on mental health were part of the curriculum? Where there could be open discussions on power, privilege and patriarchy? What if we could include the various stakeholders, including parents, educators, children, youth, government agencies, non-government sector, health organisations, media and changemakers in these deliberations? Do you think it might open up possibilities for collaborative and innovative solutions where youth get a platform to share their voice?
Their voices are not being heard as right now they are too stuck, or I should say, all of us are stuck as those metaphorical frogs in the boiling water and have accepted this as inevitable. The multibillion-dollar social media tech giants are exploiting this by the constant illusion of connection when in real life, we are more lonely and isolated than ever before.
Children who start school this year — 2024 — will be ready to start work in another 18 years’ time (on average), which will be 2042. What do we know about what the world would be like at that time, whether it would be suitable for life, what jobs would be available for humans and which ones would be taken over by AI? If given a chance, children can be subversive change-makers who can help us grow and become a more ecologically conscious and just society. They question, they challenge and they dig us out of the lethargic stupor that we have let ourselves slip into. If you think about it, children feel much more strongly about their world. It could be about protecting their environment, becoming sustainable, preserving our wildlife or tackling problems like poverty, gender-based violence, politics that incite hatred and violence — issues that we are struggling with as a human race.
Suppose Sana’s school could build safe spaces facilitated by trained teachers or counsellors where children could have these conversations and take action. Where Sana could talk freely about her sense of loneliness and exhaustion about all that went into “staying on top of the game.” Where there could be discussions on what would make children feel safer, and more connected and give them a sense of purpose which goes beyond “climbing social ladder” and “being popular”.
I believe schools are hubs that can bring us together for a collective action. They have the power to change our children’s lives, humanity’s future and so much more. So yes, count me in. What about you?
