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Journalism of Courage
A UPSC aspirant’s emotional confession has struck a deep chord online after she opened up about the toll that years of isolation took on her while preparing for the country’s toughest exam.
In a now-viral Instagram video, Manvi Srivastava reflected on what it felt like to dedicate her entire youth to the pursuit of one goal, only to end up feeling lost when it was over. “They say UPSC changes you, they never said it leaves nothing untouched. I gave my 20s to it. Locked myself away. Sacrificed birthdays, people, smiles,” she shared.
Manvi spoke candidly about the emptiness that followed once the exam journey ended. “And when it finally ended, I didn’t even know who I was anymore. Somewhere between chasing UPSC and losing sleep, I lost myself too,” she said.
The video shows her sitting in front of her laptop, staring at a blank resume, a symbol, she says, of what years of isolation had done to her. “This is what isolation does to you,” she remarks, before admitting, “Main apni zindagi ka pehla resume banane baithi hoon and main apne aap ko itna negatively dekhti hoon ki mujhe samajh hi nahi aa raha hai ki main iss mei likhoon kya.”
After spending five years preparing for the UPSC and now planning to move into the corporate world, she confessed she feels she has “no skill set” to show for it. “My laptop screen reflects someone who knows too much about failure, and too little about living,” she said, adding that she struggles to believe in herself again.
Despite her vulnerability, Manvi ended her message with a heartfelt reminder to others preparing for competitive exams: to not lose sight of themselves in the process. “If you’re isolating yourself for your dream, please, don’t lose yourself chasing it. You’ll need you when it’s all over. Take care of your mental health before anything else.”
The video went viral as many netizens found it relatable, pouring out their emotions as well. A user wrote, “This is so personal. I can relate to every single word. Every single thing you wanted to say and lived is a story of every UPSC aspirant. Wish you luck and keep showing up for yourself. Bs itta hi kro. Jab yaha jujhe h to har jagah hi accha kar lenge.”
Another user commented, “I totally relate to your journey. I also transitioned from UPSC prep to the corporate world, and it can definitely feel overwhelming at first. But trust me, with time and a bit of patience, you’ll find your footing and discover your strengths. If you ever need any support or advice, I’m here for you.”
A third person added, “Can totally see myself creating this CV in similar manner a few years back, and trust me when I say this, Things will get so much better from here! Sending you strength and a tight hug.”
