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Journalism of Courage
It starts innocently enough. “The park is closing,” “We’re out of cookies,” or “Santa’s watching.” Every parent has said something like this to keep the peace. But as Nick Jonas recently admitted about his own parenting, these small fibs raise a bigger question: are we protecting our children, or slowly teaching them that the truth is negotiable?
During an interview with Mythical Kitchen, the singer opened up about parenting his three-year-old daughter Malti Marie, whom he shares with Bollywood icon Priyanka Chopra.
“I try not to lie to them at all. There are times you have to sort of give an alternate truth. Bribing a three-and-a-half-year-old to get off the iPad is a thing, and it takes a lot of focus and self-belief,” he said.
Parents often struggle with the challenge of balancing honesty and protection in their conversations with children. A small, well-meaning fib can seem like the quickest path to cooperation. But when it becomes routine, it can subtly shape how children view honesty, trust, and communication lessons that stay with them far beyond childhood.
Rutuja Walawalkar, Psychologist at Mpower, Aditya Birla Education Trust told indianexpress.com that children tend to absorb lessons more from observing our actions than from hearing our words. “If they see parents bending the truth whether to avoid conflict, simplify a situation, or shield their feelings they may come to see dishonesty as a useful tool,” she said. Over time, that can influence how they navigate relationships with friends, teachers, and eventually, partners.
According to her, even “protective” lies told to soften disappointment can chip away at a child’s sense of security. “When they discover the truth, it can lead to confusion and a loss of trust, even if the parent’s intentions were loving. That said, there’s a difference between protective lies and playful traditions,” she explained, adding that fantasies like Santa Claus or the Tooth Fairy are generally harmless when kept lighthearted and gradually phased out as children grow. They can spark joy and imagination as long as they’re not used as tools for control or discipline.
Avoid false threats like “Santa won’t come if you’re naughty.” Instead, explain the real reason: “We use gentle hands so everyone stays safe.” This builds understanding without relying on fear or manipulation.
Young children don’t need every detail, but they do need honesty they can grasp. Instead of inventing a reason to leave the park, try, “It’s time to go home so we can have a snack and rest.”
If a small fib slips out, own it: “I told you there were no cookies, but there are we just need to save them for after dinner.” This shows that honesty matters for everyone, not just children.
When your child admits the truth, especially if it’s hard, acknowledge it: “I’m glad you told me; it helps me trust you.” Positive reinforcement makes truth-telling a natural choice.
According to Walawalkar, parenting isn’t about bluntly stating every fact it’s about being thoughtfully honest in ways that protect both trust and emotional wellbeing. “By simplifying explanations, tailoring them to a child’s age, correcting our own missteps, and actively celebrating honesty, we set the stage for children to grow up seeing truth as safe, respected, and valuable,” she said.
Nick Jonas’s parenting reflection is a reminder that the words we choose today don’t just manage the moment they help shape the trust our children will carry into every relationship for the rest of their lives.
