Shibani Dandekar says she took couples therapy with Farhan Akhtar two days after wedding; is this marital bliss, we ask an expert

Dandekar recalled how the couple even went for therapy just two days after their wedding, adding that they got married on Monday and their appointment was scheduled on Wednesday.

She added, “It’s like going to the gym. You have to keep working on it. So, there are times when we go for sessions and it’s every couple of weeks and sometimes we go in there and we just look at each other and we’re like we have nothing to talk about. There are days where we go in and we were like we are going to need longer than an hour because let me just tell you some things about this guy right here…There are times where we maybe get into a fight at home and we know we’ve got to see our therapist on Wednesday. So, we will just wait or I will try and wait. I want to get into it right now and he’ll be like ‘Let’s just wait and discuss it on Wednesday’.”

This openness to therapy, especially from the very start of a marriage, sparks important questions about how couples can benefit from early counseling. Is it a trend among modern relationships, or is there deeper significance to engaging in couples therapy before major relationship milestones? 

A commitment to growth

Gurleen Baruah, occupational psychologist and executive coach at That Culture Thing, weighs in on the benefits of this approach. “Seeking therapy early on, or even before marriage, can significantly improve the quality and longevity of a relationship by providing a safe space for couples to explore key aspects of their dynamic with the guidance of a therapist,” she explains.

Psychologically, she continues, this proactive approach fosters “emotional intelligence and self-awareness, helping individuals understand their own and their partner’s attachment styles, communication patterns, and emotional triggers.”

Therapy helps couples develop essential skills such as conflict resolution, empathy, and active listening, which are foundational for a healthy, enduring relationship, Baruah assures. It also addresses potential challenges, like unresolved past traumas or differences in upbringing and temperament, that could otherwise lead to misunderstandings or disconnection later on.

While Dandekar and Akhtar seem to have embraced couples therapy wholeheartedly, some couples might face hesitation from one partner. (Source: Freepik)

Addressing key issues early on

For newly married couples, therapy can be crucial in addressing potential future conflicts. Baruah outlines some key issues that therapy helps couples navigate:

1. Logistics of co-living, including dividing household responsibilities and balancing individual needs
2. Developing conflict resolution skills
3. Understanding each other’s emotional triggers and attachment styles
4. Exploring love languages to foster deeper emotional connections
5. Building a sense of teamwork in the relationship

“Ultimately, this kind of psychological insight creates a resilient, adaptable relationship that can handle the ups and downs of married life with greater emotional intelligence and mutual respect,” she says.

Overcoming hesitation

While Dandekar and Akhtar seem to have embraced couples therapy wholeheartedly, some couples might face hesitation from one partner. Baruah advises against forcing therapy on a reluctant partner, as it can lead to “disengagement or even resistance.”

Instead, she suggests, “A more effective approach is to start with individual therapy. This allows one partner to work on themselves, explore their own thoughts and feelings, and model the benefits of the process.” Over time, the hesitant partner might become more open to participating as they witness the positive changes in their spouse.