‘There’s a lot of unlearning and undoing to do’: Psychologist explains why Seema Sajdeh’s approach to raising boys is a healthier path

Sajdeh also challenges common stereotypes by avoiding phrases like “stop crying like a little girl” and allowing them the freedom to experiment — whether it’s even trying on makeup, heels, or anything else. “Honestly these are things that have been fed, which I think there’s a lot of unlearning and undoing to do.”

Her approach speaks to a growing movement toward raising empathetic, open-minded boys who understand and appreciate diversity and equality. But how can parents effectively implement these values, and what lasting impact does this approach have on children?

Influence of early exposure to respect and inclusivity in the home environment 

Sonal Khangarot, licensed rehabilitation counsellor and psychotherapist at The Answer Room, tells indianexpress.com, “According to lifespan psychology, Children start showing signs of empathy by the age of 2-3, and by age 7, this concept becomes more solidified. Early exposure to respect and inclusivity in the home helps break the generational conditioning of rigid thinking, allowing children to explore themselves better. It creates a space for open communication and an understanding that the sky can be pink, not just blue.”

The ability to see shades of grey between black and white helps build convergent thinking and abstract thought, which later reflects in their personality, life choices, and professional life, Khangarot says. “When roles and responsibilities are divided based on gender or sexuality, children miss opportunities to learn new things. Exposure to inclusivity and respect from a young age helps remedy this.”

Sajedh’s approach emphasises that respect, empathy, and openness begin at home. (Source: Freepik)

Strategies parents can use to encourage emotional expression in boys

Children are like sponges, mentions Khangarot, absorbing the behaviours, reactions, and attitudes of those around them. “The foundation of empathy and dignity is built when they see their parents treating others with the same values. If society dismisses boys’ emotional expression with phrases like ‘boys don’t cry’ or ‘you have to be strong,’ parents can counter these pressures by creating a safe space at home where emotional expression and vulnerability are seen as strengths, not weaknesses.”

Regular check-ins, she continues, introducing tools for emotional literacy, exposure to movies with relevant themes, and constantly reminding boys that strength lies in expressing emotions, not suppressing them, are highly recommended strategies for parents.

Allowing children to explore

“Allowing children to explore makeup, fashion, and creative expression sends a powerful message: they are free to be themselves. This approach nurtures self-confidence, reduces fear of judgement, and fosters authenticity,” says Khangarot. 

However, she adds that “freedom doesn’t mean a lack of guidance.” Parents can balance this by helping children make intentional choices. For example, they can discuss why the child is drawn to a specific interest and encourage exploration of different hobbies and talents.

Ultimately, Sajedh’s approach emphasises that respect, empathy, and openness begin at home. Khangarot explains, “As children observe and internalise these values, they become better equipped to navigate the world’s complexities with compassion and integrity. Countering societal expectations in this way allows them to become emotionally aware and respectful of diversity.”

From the homepage

Bihar SIR: Voter list shrinks by 6% after 3-month revision, about 68.5 lakh names deleted

Stalin’s caution in sparing Vijay backfires, actor issues challenge to CM: ‘Do whatever you want to do with me’

‘Had two options before me after winning elections…’: Omar says he would rather resign than get statehood with BJP as ally