‘Kind of started giving up when I was losing the battle’: Bobby Deol shares his inspiring comeback story

He added, “But if you want to achieve something in life, you can’t just wait for someone to hold your hand and move you forward. You have to stand on your own two feet and do what you have to do. When I began doing that, I started moving forward and things fell into place.”

One key element that often comes into play when facing obstacles is the balance between intrinsic and extrinsic motivation. As Deol reflects on how he moved forward, it’s clear that understanding these motivations can profoundly impact how we approach setbacks in our personal and professional lives. But how can we differentiate between the two, and how do they shape the way we push through difficult moments?

“If you want to achieve something in life, you can’t just wait for someone to hold your hand,” says Bobby Deol. (Express Photo by Amit Chakravarty)

How do intrinsic and extrinsic motivations differ in their impact on overcoming setbacks?

Dr Arohi Vardhan, Consultant Child and Adolescent Psychiatry at Mindtalk, explains the distinction between intrinsic and extrinsic motivation and their impact on overcoming challenges:

Intrinsic motivation arises from internal desires like personal growth or passion. Dr Vardhan says, “For example, someone motivated by the love of acting would continue despite failures because the process itself is fulfilling.” Research highlights that intrinsic motivation promotes creativity, persistence, and psychological well-being, making individuals more resilient in setbacks since their drive is independent of external factors.

Extrinsic motivation depends on external rewards like recognition or financial incentives. While it can be effective short-term, Dr Vardhan notes, “This form of motivation can falter when external rewards diminish or expectations aren’t met, potentially leading to disillusionment.”

Sustainability lies with intrinsic motivation, as it is self-renewing. Studies show pursuing goals tied to intrinsic values leads to greater satisfaction and long-term success, even in the face of obstacles.

Can relying too heavily on extrinsic motivation lead to burnout or a loss of direction?

Dr Vardhan warns that over-reliance on extrinsic motivation can lead to burnout and a loss of purpose. “Dependence on external rewards or validation can create relentless pressure to meet expectations,“ she says, affecting mental health and creativity. It may also result in misaligned decisions and dissatisfaction when goals don’t reflect personal values.

Extrinsic motivation’s fragility becomes evident when rewards like recognition or financial stability fluctuate, leaving individuals feeling directionless. Dr Vardhan recommends balancing extrinsic rewards with intrinsic goals for lasting fulfillment to prevent this.

Strategies individuals can adopt to cultivate intrinsic motivation during challenging times

Dr Vardhan emphasises the importance of cultivating intrinsic motivation by focusing on self-awareness, personal growth, and aligning actions with core values. She explains, “Building intrinsic motivation requires a focus on self-awareness, personal growth, and aligning actions with internal values.” Reflecting on what truly matters, through journaling or mindfulness, helps clarify passions and align efforts with deeper goals.

Setting meaningful, purpose-driven goals and breaking them into smaller milestones can enhance motivation. Dr Vardhan advises shifting the focus from outcomes to the journey itself, finding joy in learning and improving regardless of external recognition. 

Pursuing mastery-oriented activities that challenge skills fosters a growth mindset while surrounding oneself with supportive people, like mentors or peers, who provide constructive feedback and encouragement.