‘Shaayad humse koi bhool ho gayi ho’: Aarya Babbar on half-brother Prateik’s decision to exclude family from wedding celebrations; emotional impact of not being included

In a conversation with SCREEN, Aarya said, “Somewhere we as a family must have failed him.” He added, “Not inviting other members of our family, my mother (Nadira Babbar), my sister (Juhi Babbar), or me could be condonable: maybe we have failed him as a family, although we have never treated him as a stepbrother. Lekin chalo, shaayad humse koi bhool ho gayi ho (Perhaps, we made a mistake). But Papa? Not inviting our Papa, his Papa (Raj Babbar)… how can he do this? Papa is very very hurt. By doing this, Prateik has hurt his mother the great Smita Patilji as well. If he stops to think for a moment, he would know that his mother, whom he respects and loves so much, must be very hurt. Would she want this?”

Despite feeling let down, Aarya stated that he wished nothing but the best for his brother. “We have always considered Prateik an integral part of the family. The doors of our hearts are always open to him. We hope he is happy in marriage and finds his niche as an actor,” he said. 

Being left out of a major life event can bring up feelings of grief, resentment, and confusion. 

How can someone cope with the emotional impact of being excluded from a close family member’s major life event?

Vandita Sharma, a clinical psychologist at Artemis Hospitals, tells indianexpress.com, “Being excluded from a close relative’s significant life event can be extremely unpleasant, causing feelings of rejection, grief, or rage.”

She adds that the first step in processing these feelings is to accept them rather than try to suppress or deny them. Being kind to yourself and seeking support from trusted friends or a therapist can provide comfort. “Understanding the reasons behind the exclusion, intentional or accidental, can aid in emotional processing. Reframing the situation by focusing on positive relationships may also be helpful. Engaging in self-care activities or writing can offer emotional relief. If reconciliation is possible, initiating an open conversation is key, but if not, it’s important to meet your own emotional needs and allow yourself the time to heal,” explains Sharma. 

Some practical ways to communicate feelings of hurt without creating further distance 

It is difficult to express hurt feelings, Sharma informs, but open communication is the foundation of healthy relationships. Using ‘I’ phrases instead of blame reduces defensiveness and promotes understanding. Emotional regulation, which is necessary for conflict resolution, avoids impulsive reactions based on the amygdala’s fight-or-flight response. Active listening, in which both people feel heard, promotes emotional validation. 

“Nonverbal communication, such as a calm tone and open posture, supports sincerity. When emotions become overwhelming, practicing mindfulness or cognitive restructuring will calm distress. In severe emotional trauma, psychotherapy can help you cope better using healthy coping strategies. Valuing empathy and patience helps in promoting healthier interpersonal relationships,” notes Sharma. 

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