Top US divorce lawyer says ‘marriage is more dangerous than skydiving’; expert on what this blunt analogy reveals about love and human hope

Pushing his metaphor further, Sexton remarked, “Do more people die from marriage or skydiving?… I think most people’s sense of self, many people’s sense of self dies as part of an unhappy marriage.”

To him, the real danger isn’t physical — it’s emotional erosion. “It’s not a question of will you die, it’s that you’re alive and not living your life in a way that’s enjoyable or in a way that’s authentic to who you are. And I think a lot of people are doing that as a function of the choice that they made of marriage,” he explained.

Sexton insists he’s not anti-marriage, but rather pro-honesty. “I’m not saying don’t get married. But what I’m saying is when someone says I’m getting married, why is it impolite to say, ‘why?’ You’re about to do something incredibly dangerous that fails so much of the time. Why not just say ‘why?’”

According to him, most people’s reasons for tying the knot are far from convincing. “Because, you know, I don’t want to be alone. Wait, you have to get married to not be alone? Join a church group. I don’t know. Join a baking squad. Join a softball team. You won’t be alone.”

But why do so many people opt for marriage despite being aware of the odds?

Neha Parashar, clinical psychologist, Mindtalk, tells indianexpress.com, “Human beings are inherently wired for connection and belonging. Even when statistics or personal experiences point to the fragility of marriage, the emotional need for companionship, stability, and shared meaning often outweighs rational risk assessment.” 

People also tend to hold what psychologists call an ‘optimism bias’ — the belief that their relationship will be different, stronger, or more resilient than others. Social conditioning also plays a role: marriage remains a key milestone of adulthood and success in many cultures. So, the decision is less about logic and more about the enduring human hope to love and be loved securely.

What are healthy, realistic reasons to get married today, and how can individuals assess their readiness before taking that step?

The healthiest marriages begin not from a need to fill a void but from a desire to share a life already rich in self-awareness and emotional balance. Getting married out of loneliness, fear, or societal pressure often leads to dependency rather than partnership. 

“A healthy motivation is the wish to grow together, build shared goals, and create emotional safety while allowing personal freedom. Before committing, individuals can assess readiness by asking: Can I be content on my own? Do I know my emotional patterns and triggers? Am I willing to communicate with vulnerability and accountability? When marriage becomes a conscious choice rather than a reactive one, its chances of lasting happiness rise significantly,” concludes Parashar. 

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