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Journalism of Courage
Falling in love doesn’t always start with instant connection — sometimes, it begins with clashes, misunderstandings, and stark differences in background or personality. Sunita Ahuja’s story of meeting Govinda and their initial friction before falling in love highlights a common relationship dynamic: opposites attract. When two people come from contrasting worlds, their journey together can be both challenging and deeply enriching.
In an interview with Curly Tales, Ahuja revealed, “’Main Govinda ko jaanti thi jab woh last year B.Com kar raha tha, aur main 9th mein thi. Phir woh aaya meri sister ki shaadi mein jo hua tha uske mama ke saath. Phir hum wahi milte julte the… hum log kitna jhagda karte the. Main ekdum Bandra girl aur yeh ekdum ghaati Virar boy, toh mera toh pat ta bhi nahi tha kasam se. Hum log cats and dogs ki tarah, ki, ‘Kutta leke aati hai, sharam nahi hai shorts pehenti hai?’ Main bolti thi, chal hatt abhi idhar se (I knew Govinda when he was in his final year of B.Com, and I was in the 9th grade. Then he came to my sister’s wedding, which happened through his uncle. After that, we would meet and interact there… We used to fight so much! I was a total Bandra girl, and he was a completely rustic Virar boy, so I never even considered him, I swear. We used to fight like cats and dogs — he’d say, ‘She brings a dog, has no shame wearing shorts?’ And I’d say, ‘Get lost from here right now!’)”
She continued, “Hote hote kab naseed phoota pata nahi yaar. Phir pyaar ho gaya (I don’t know when my fate took a turn, but somehow, love happened).” When asked about their personalities, Ahuja added, “Mera bahut alag hi hai, I like to live and enjoy life. Mera life aise balanced hai, harr cheez mein balance rakho (I’m very different — I like to live and enjoy life. My life is balanced, and I believe in keeping balance in everything).” Describing Govinda, she said, “But he’s like, unko ghar acha lagta hai (he prefers staying at home).”
When two people come from contrasting worlds, their journey together can be challenging and deeply enriching.
Akhil Tharakan, psychiatric social worker and family therapist at Cadabams Hospitals, tells indianexpress.com, “When two people come from vastly different social or cultural upbringings, their relationship is often shaped by the intersection of personal beliefs, traditions, and societal expectations.”
Culture significantly influences how people express emotions, he says. Some cultures encourage open emotional expression, while others value restraint and indirect communication. When partners operate on different communication wavelengths, misunderstandings can arise.
Tharakan adds, “Family and societal conditioning often shape expectations around roles within a relationship. One partner may come from a traditional background where gender roles are clearly defined, while the other may embrace modern, egalitarian values. Without mutual understanding, these differing worldviews can cause friction.”
Partners raised in different socio-economic conditions often have different financial habits, states Tharakan, spending priorities, and perspectives on money management. One may prioritise security and saving, while the other values experiences and spontaneous spending, leading to potential conflicts.
Here are some strategies suggested by the expert:
Open, Non-Judgemental Conversations: Creating a safe space to discuss expectations and potential friction points early in the relationship is crucial.
Compromise and Adaptability: Healthy relationships thrive on adjustments rather than complete sacrifices of one’s identity.
Establishing Common Ground: Shared values — such as mutual respect, support, and long-term vision — serve as relationship anchors, even when cultural backgrounds differ.
