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Journalism of Courage
An old video of Saif Ali Khan recalling his first encounter with Kareena Kapoor Khan has resurfaced, sparking mixed reactions online.
In the clip, Saif describes seeing Kareena as a “chhoti ladki” (little girl) when he first noticed her at Filmistan Studios in Mumbai. His words — meant to express admiration — have left many viewers unsettled, particularly because he was an adult working in the industry at the time, while Kareena was still a child.
In the clip, Saif recalls, “Actually, pehli baar jab maine unhein dekha tha, main Filmistan studio mein shooting kar raha tha toh ek chhoti ladki baithi thi makeup room ke baahar, deewar pe akeli baithi thi. Aur dekh rahi thi meri taraf. Maine poocha kisi se ki, ‘Yeh kaun hai?’ Toh unhonein kaha ki yeh Kareena Kapoor hain, Karisma Kapoor ki chhoti behen. Mujhe laga ki bahut khoobsurat hain. Aur mere khayal se tabse woh mujhe kaafi achchi lagi. (The first time I saw her, I was shooting at Filmistan studio when I noticed a little girl sitting alone outside the makeup room, leaning against the wall. She was looking at me. I asked someone who she was, and they said she’s Kareena Kapoor, Karisma Kapoor’s younger sister. I thought she was very pretty. I think I liked her from that moment).”
However, Saif and Kareena’s love story began much later on the sets of Tashan in 2008. Since then, the couple was spotted together several times and eventually married each other in 2012.
This highlights broader themes of how adults perceive childhood admiration, power dynamics in interactions between different age groups, and the way nostalgia can sometimes reshape our memories.
Psychologist Anjali Gursahaney tells indianexpress.com, “Our emotions, present perspectives, and the passage of time shape our recollections of past interactions. Over time, memory undergoes reconstruction, where details get altered, forgotten, or romanticised based on our current emotions and life experiences.”
Nostalgia filters out negative aspects and highlights emotions that reinforce our current beliefs or relationships.
“For example, in Saif’s case, his memory of first seeing Kareena might have been a fleeting moment at the time, but looking back — especially given their deep relationship now — it takes on a romantic and poetic quality. His mind fills in details that align with his love and admiration for her. This is why people often recall ‘first meetings’ with a tinge of fate or magic, even if they seemed unremarkable in the moment,” Gursahaney reveals.
Gursahaney explains, “Power dynamics between children and adults are inherently imbalanced because children are in a developmental stage where they lack the autonomy, experience, and social power of adults.”
When recalling moments from the past, the framing matters — especially when discussing a child or a teenager from an adult’s perspective. “If the memory is narrated with a lens that romanticises or retrospectively assigns adult-like qualities to a child, it can come across as inappropriate, even if unintentional. In Saif’s recollection, his description is mostly innocent, but if the same memory were framed with deeper attraction or emotional weight at that moment, it could be problematic,” she stresses.
The ethical boundary here is ensuring that past interactions are remembered in a way that respects the developmental stage of the younger person at that time.
