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Journalism of Courage
I somewhere read that ‘guardrails in a relationship are like the boundaries of a beautiful garden, they define the space where love can grow freely while keeping out the weeds of misunderstanding and conflict.’ This may seem like a really simple statement but it can define many relationship dynamics, especially because establishing clear boundaries at the start of a relationship is considered healthy.
Let’s understand more about the guard railing dating trend, which has gained popularity this year. Psychologists suggest the trend evolves from the idea that clear boundaries can ensure that neither of the persons in the relationship is sacrificing their needs for the others.
According to Shinjini Deb, senior clinical psychologist, Kolkata, from the perspective of a clinical psychologist, these are healthy boundaries, guidelines, and strategies that help maintain a balanced and fulfilling relationship. “These not only help partners address common concerns but also foster stronger bonds. Dancing on the nerves as addressed by many clients ruins the base of the relationship and tramples the remaining sanctity,” explained Deb in a conversation with indianexpress.com.
In simple terms, guardrails serve as a protective barrier to keep people and vehicles safe by providing a physical boundary that restricts movement beyond a certain point. Much like that:
*Setting mutual rules
*Deciding topics not to be addressed
*Dividing responsibilities
*Being clear about expectations
*Being respectful
*Creating space to live and let live
Deb urged that all of the above are some healthy ways of setting boundaries that would keep your relationship in a protective state and restrict unnecessary conflicts. “It’s in your hands at the end of the day how you wish to treat yourself or your bond with loved ones,” said Deb.
Having boundaries is important to coalesce security and trust and to build awareness and understanding of what is expected in the relationship, said clinical psychologist Kamna Chhibber. “It allows for normal and healthy functioning of individuals and protects them from being hurt within the relationship,” said Chhibber.
Having quick and sorted solutions in times of conflict and emergencies helps the couple or sometimes even friends bounce back better and stronger. “Promoting transparency and trust is the most difficult task to do to many. The guard rails and its benefits effortlessly take care of that too,” said Deb.
For example, a couple belonging to different states of India choosing to celebrate each other’s cultural celebration could be crucial to show inclusiveness and respect. “This way they both make conscious decisions to set healthy boundaries of not dissing each other’s culture at any given point,” described Deb.
How to set ‘healthy boundaries’?
A well-thought-out communication method helps create a better stepping stone when progressing along the lines of commitment.
Deb suggested that the best method to set these is to spend quality time with the concerned person and figure out what these could be. “Like any app on the phone, one must update these guard rails too if they happen to falter from time to time. Equal partnership comes with great guard rails,” said Deb.
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