Govinda shared how seeing his mother struggle lit a fire in him to be a star: ‘The hard times began, and I was born’

Though both his mother and father passed away in the late 1990s — his mother in 1996 and his father in 1998 — they witnessed his meteoric rise to stardom. Govinda recently returned home from the hospital after being treated for an accidental gunshot wound and is now recovering.

“He had made a film which didn’t work and he lost a lot of money. We had a bungalow at Carter Road, but after the film flopped, we had to move to Virar. That’s when the hard times began, and I was born. With failure, he was really shaken and he couldn’t take it and the entire family faced that difficulty,” Govinda shared.

He recalled his own path, not initially envisioning a career in films. As a commerce graduate, Govinda sought jobs in various offices, even applying for a position at Taj Hotels, only to be turned down because he didn’t speak English. His primary drive was never fame, but the desire to lift his mother out of the difficult circumstances she faced.

When Simi mentioned his earlier comment that it was his “anger at seeing the struggle of my mother that made me a star,” Govinda agreed, saying, “When you see your mother struggling to get through a bad patch in life, struggling very hard… She was coping with everything. I have seen her struggle through everything and I wanted to change it very fast.”

When children see their parents struggle—whether it’s financially, emotionally, or health wise—it can create an environment of fear, instability, or heightened responsibility, explained Arouba Kabir, Emotional & Mental Health professional, Founder Enso wellness.

“Like Govinda, I have seen many clients who responded by developing a fierce determination to succeed, often driven by the need to rescue or uplift their families from hardship,” she said in an interaction.

Children often internalise the struggles of their parents, suppressing their own needs and emotions to protect their parents, leading to emotional numbness or unhealthy coping mechanisms later in life. They might derive their sense of identity from their drive to succeed, financially, power and position wise but this can also create a deep-seated fear of failure or inadequacy.

This constant need to prove oneself can lead to burnout, mental health issues, or a loss of personal identity outside of achievement.

But, if the struggles are handled with resilience and open communication, Kabir said, children are more likely to develop emotional intelligence and healthier ways to manage stress as well.

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