‘Logon ko lagta hai main calm hu’: Shraddha Kapoor says her family sees a very different, emotional side of her; why we wear masks in public

Her words shed light on the difference between how we present ourselves publicly and the emotions we express privately with loved ones. “Main kaafi, short-tempered bhi ho sakti hu (I can also be very short-tempered), but only with my most close people in my life,” she added.

But why do many people present a calmer, more composed version of themselves in public, while expressing raw emotions only with family or close ones?

Psychologist Anjali Gursahaney tells indianexpress.com, “From childhood, many of us are taught ‘control your emotions’ in public settings to avoid judgement or seeming ‘weak.’ Displaying strong emotions can make one vulnerable; people reserve that side for those they trust.”

She adds that in work or social spaces, there’s pressure to appear “together,” calm, and composed. It’s easier to let go of family because the social mask can finally drop.

Can constantly suppressing emotions outside the home impact a person’s mental health or relationships over time?

According to Gursahaney, constantly suppressing emotions may lead to: 

• Emotional fatigue: Continuously bottling up feelings leads to stress, irritability, and even burnout.
• Psychosomatic effects: Suppressed emotions often show up physically (headaches, poor sleep, stomach issues).
• Relationship strain: If one only vents at home, close relationships may carry the burden of all that pent-up emotion.
• Reduced authenticity: Over time, people may struggle with identity confusion: “Am I the composed version or the emotional version of me?”

Healthy ways to strike a balance between maintaining composure in public settings and finding safe outlets to express one’s real emotions

Journaling or recording voice notes can provide a private way to process feelings without judgement, while therapy or coaching offers a safe space to unpack emotions and build regulation skills. “Having a trusted circle of one or two friendships where emotional honesty is welcome can also be deeply grounding. Creative outlets like music, painting, dance, or writing serve as powerful release valves for emotions that might otherwise feel bottled up. Most importantly, practicing mindful regulation by pausing, breathing, and acknowledging emotions, instead of suppressing them entirely helps foster healthier emotional balance,” explains the expert. 

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