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Journalism of Courage
Separation is a challenging phase for both the parents and the child. Priyanka Chopra’s mother, Madhu Chopra, in a conversation with Pinkvilla, once expressed “regret” over sending Priyanka to the boarding school at a very young age. “Chhote se bacche ko traumatise kiya maine, usko mentally prepare nahi kiya…,” she said during the interview.
Many a time, separation from parents at an early age leaves the child mentally unprepared for the unforeseen, as was Priyanka’s case, who had confessed in her memoir Unfinished, “One evening, my parents and I were watching television together in their bedroom. I was lying on my tummy and snacking on some chips, and Dad asked me to pass them. ‘No,’ I responded, without taking my eyes off the screen. Dad asked again, and I said, ‘No,’ this time more firmly. And then, as if ‘no’ wasn’t bad enough, I added: ‘Can’t you see that I’m busy!’ Which was a variation of what Mom used to say: Give me time. Can’t you see that I’m busy? I’ll get back to you. Mom looked at my father, then at me, and then at my father again. ‘Mimi needs to learn discipline,’ she said.”
However, such situations often leave a mental scar, as was the case with Chopra’s mother: “That was heartbreaking for both of us… Priyanka became a confident person; however, it was a traumatic experience for me…I still regret it…,” Madhu said during the interview.
Psychoanalyst Erik Erikson’s theory also emphasises that the early years are the foundation of emotional resilience. Separation during these stages can lead to mistrust or low self-worth if not buffered by consistent care, especially when poorly managed. According to Oorvi Bhateja, consultant psychologist at LimbiQ Centre for Psychiatry and Child Development, Delhi, “Sour separations can have mental scars. Though the impact depends on the child’s age, temperament, and the quality of caregiving substitutes.”
Dr Bhateja recommended that around 10–12 years (middle childhood) is generally more appropriate than earlier years. By this age, children have developed basic emotional regulation and social skills. However, every child differs in the way they perceive the situation.
She added that sending children away can weaken the bond if there is no consistent emotional connection. “The impact is highly individual. Some children flourish with autonomy; others feel abandoned. What matters is how parents maintain emotional proximity through letters, calls, visits, and rituals of connection.”
