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Journalism of Courage
Actor Govinda’s daughter Tina Ahuja recently opened up about her relationship with cousins Krushna Abhishek and Arti Singh, despite the family feud.
She revealed that she has never harboured harsh feelings toward Krushna and described Arti as “very sweet.” In an interview with Galatta India, she mentioned, “Anyway I am the youngest sibling in the family, so they’ve been very kind to me always. I’ve never had any harsh feelings or moments with even Krushna, for that matter… Arti is like very sweet but mera kabhi unke saath aisa kuch argument hi nahi hua hai life mein touch wood (But I’ve never had any such argument with them in my life, touch wood).”
Family feuds can be challenging, but it is possible to navigate these tensions while maintaining meaningful relationships with individual members. Ahuja’s perspective reminds us that it’s important to focus on personal bonds, especially when broader family issues might not be in our control.
Gurleen Baruah, existential psychotherapist at That Culture Thing, says, “Maintaining a positive relationship with family members involved in a feud starts with adopting a detached perspective. This doesn’t mean you don’t care—it means recognising that people are individuals before they are your family members. Adults can have disagreements or even feuds, and that’s okay. Not everything in life is harmonious, and it’s unrealistic to expect otherwise.”
The key is understanding that you are not obligated to inherit or carry someone else’s animosity, adds Baruah. Respect all family members as individuals, regardless of their issues with each other. “You can maintain healthy and civil relationships by setting clear boundaries and refusing to take sides. It’s about staying neutral, being supportive without enabling conflict, and focusing on your expectations and values rather than getting drawn into the drama.”
In essence, you can respect and engage with everyone in your family while keeping a certain emotional detachment from their disputes. This balanced approach allows you to nurture positive connections without feeling caught in the middle.
Baruah suggests the following:
Focus on Individual Bonds: Treat each relationship on its merit, separate from the feud. Spend time understanding and connecting with each family member without letting the broader tension overshadow your interactions.
Draw Clear Boundaries: Make it clear that you’re not a mediator or a participant in the feud. If someone tries to vent or complain about another family member, gently steer the conversation back to neutral topics or your relationship with them. For instance, you could say, “I’d rather focus on us when we’re together.”
Redirect Conversations: Keep the focus on what you want to talk about or share positive experiences. Avoid engaging in discussions that pull you into the drama or force you to take sides.
Hold Your Ground: While being empathetic, also maintain your autonomy. Respect their emotions, but don’t compromise your mental peace or relationships with others to appease one side.
