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Journalism of Courage
It is easy to spot 25-year-old Tina Chhillar. She is the only one without a veil amidst the sea of ghoonghat-clad women in Bamnoli, Haryana, trying to get a look at the commotion outside her house. She realises that “people from Delhi” are here to take photographs of the neighbouring house, and Tina’s instant restlessness makes it almost impossible to ignore her. But, even in all her excitement at the unusual presence of people with cameras, she takes care not to step outside the threshold of her house. The moment you approach her, Tina instantly looks for cover and tries to disappear into the familiarity of her mother’s shawl. Only when her brother shows us in — a sub-inspector and the oldest male member of the family — does Tina gain confidence. “Main Manushi ki bua hoon (I am Manushi’s aunt),” she says.
Tina’s house is located right next to Miss World 2017 Manushi Chhillar’s crumbling ancestral house in Bamnoli. “I gave her a flower when she visited our village for the first time after becoming Miss India in June. But I have never spoken to her,” says Tina.
She also isn’t in awe of Manushi. While her village celebrates Manushi as “our daughter”, she harbours no illusions of women from her village being allowed to participate in a beauty pageant. With a Bachelor’s degree in Arts and a Master’s degree in English, Tina Chhillar is one of the most educated women in the village; as per the 2011 Census, in Bamnoli, male literacy was 88.94 per cent while female literacy rate was 70.85 per cent. Yet, she says, “It is very unlikely that we will be allowed to pursue a career in modelling. Our families want us to stay in the village and study. If we insist on going out, we are asked to stop studying and forced to get married,” she says.
Tina is not allowed to be on social media. She got a mobile phone only last year, and is still struggling to use it. Her desire to wear a pair of jeans has been overruled by village elders. “I find it extremely strange that men get to decide what women do and wear. This makes me very angry,” she says.
Her grandmother, Usha Devi, had “dared” to apply for a job back in the day without informing her husband. When he came to know of this, Devi’s education certificates and job letters were promptly burned. She now offers an answer to Tina’s indignant question. “The older men in the village are scared that if our daughters go outside the village, they will elope with an outsider.”
Bamnoli’s men have been quick to bask in the glory of Manushi’s success, even though she has never lived there. “We were sure that our daughter would win the crown, after she bagged the Miss India title in June this year,” says 32-year-old Naresh Chhillar, sarpanch of Bamnoli. He says they have made elaborate plans to felicitate her. In fact, the Chhillar Chhikara khap, comprising a dozen neighbouring villages in Bahadurgarh, will collectively welcome her. But how would Manushi view the attitude of her village elders towards its women and their flawed understanding of progress? Bhrahma Singh Prakash, 72, explains some of the recent decisions taken by the senior members of the community: “The Chhillar Chikhara Khap has proposed that DJs should not play at weddings; all wedding should take place during the day time. Sometimes, uninvited guests enter the weddings and start dancing with our women. That is something we don’t like. That’s why this decision has been taken.”
It doesn’t take very long for the men to shed the celebratory tone and speak the language of patriarchy. Defending khap panchayats, Prakash says: “Khap’s decisions are not binding on women. They can wear what they like.” But he also adds that women usually don’t rebel and that if these decisions were binding, they would happily comply. Would he support his daughter if she wanted to participate in a beauty contest? “Of course,” he says. But the thing is, he doesn’t have a daughter.
Men of Bamnoli enjoy an undisputed hold over public spaces. Soaking in the winter sun sitting on a charpoy while smoking hookah and talking about farm distress, Jat reservation, GST and demonetisation — they live the idyllic pastoral life. Married women have to strictly follow the ghoongat system whenever they venture outside.
Resal Singh Chhillar, 80, another village elder, says women enjoy greater freedom today. “They used to cover their entire face with the ghoonghat, now they only partially cover it,” he says. When reminded if Manushi were to be bound by such customs, she could never have won, he quickly re-negotiates the terms of freedom for women.
“For what a woman achieves, her family should be credited. Manushi’s parents allowed her to fulfil her aspirations. What is freedom for a woman? A woman is allowed to do only what her family allows her to do. That’s freedom for her. A girl can’t go beyond the limits set by her family,” he says.
Watch the video here.
