Seema Sajdeh finds love again with former fiancé Vikram Ahuja: The psychology behind rekindling old flames

In an episode of the show, while Ahuja does not show his face, he can be seen helping Sajdeh shift from Worli to Bandra. The latter expresses gratitude for finding love in him again. She says, “He knows me like no one knows me. If anybody knows us in town, they all know the story of Seema and Vikram. Vikram’s the one I was engaged to before I met Sohail… and here we are… life comes full circle (sic).”  

Her decision to rekindle her relationship with Ahuja raises questions about the psychology behind reconnecting with old flames. To better understand why some couples give love a second chance, we turned to an expert to illuminate this intriguing dynamic.

Factors that motivate people to reunite with past partners

While revisiting a past relationship may seem unconventional, it’s not uncommon. Gurleen Baruah, organisational psychologist and executive coach at That Culture Thing, tells indianexpress.com, “People often reunite with past partners because of several psychological factors. One big reason is familiarity — they know what to expect, and that comfort can outweigh the fear of dating someone new.”

“Loneliness also plays a role; being alone can feel more painful than being in a relationship, even if it wasn’t perfect before. Another key factor is lingering feelings – love doesn’t just vanish after a breakup, and unresolved emotions can pull people back together. There’s also regret – some people feel like the breakup was a mistake and want to fix it,” explains Baruah.

However, while these feelings are strong motivators, “research shows that on-again relationships often struggle with lower satisfaction, less trust, and old problems resurfacing.” It doesn’t always lead to long-term success, as many people find themselves caught in the same patterns that caused the breakup in the first place. 

Baruah adds, “That said, there are exceptions where both partners grow and come back stronger, but it’s less common. The key is recognising whether the reasons for getting back together are healthy or based on temporary emotions like loneliness or guilt.”

To build a stronger, healthier relationship the second time around, couples need to approach the reunion with honest communication. (Source: Freepik)

Passage of time or personal growth 

Time allows people to gain perspective on the relationship and themselves, mentions Baruah. After a breakup, she states that people often “reflect on what went wrong and what they’ve learned.” This period can lead to emotional maturity, where both partners grow individually and develop better communication or conflict-resolution skills. This growth may help them see each other in a new light, making reconnection feel like a fresh start.

She cautions, “However, time alone doesn’t always improve things. If the underlying issues that caused the breakup aren’t addressed, getting back together might lead to repeating the same problems.”

Addressing past issues and building a stronger, healthier relationship the second time around

Baruah suggests, “To build a stronger, healthier relationship the second time around, couples must approach the reunion with honest communication. They should have open discussions about what went wrong in the past and be clear about what both of them need from the relationship moving forward. This can help avoid repeating the same mistakes.”

Next, she continues, they need to focus on resolving past issues, not just moving past them. This might involve working on communication, conflict resolution, or trust issues. “If deep-seated problems like betrayal or emotional distance were part of the breakup, couples might benefit from couples therapy to navigate those challenges with professional support.”

It’s also important to set realistic expectations. Both partners need to accept that the relationship won’t magically fix itself just because they’re giving it another try. Baruah notes that it takes conscious effort and patience to make changes and create new, healthier dynamics.

She concludes, “Lastly, they should embrace personal growth. Both individuals must show that they’ve grown and changed since the breakup.”