‘I never left her house…’: When Saif Ali Khan recounted first dinner date with Amrita Singh, mother Sharmila Tagore being concerned about his happiness

A few days later, he worked up the nerve to call Singh, intending to ask her for dinner. He recounted, “I called her and asked, ‘Would you like to go out for dinner with me?’ But she replied with something off-putting, like, ‘No, I don’t go out for dinner.’ Later, she said, ‘You can come home for dinner if you like.’” When asked what made him reach out to her, Saif reflected, “Some sort of chord must have struck subconsciously.”

Khan then recalled his first dinner date at her house. He mentioned, “By the end of the evening, we kissed each other. I never left her house after that dinner.” Their whirlwind romance soon led to marriage, despite Khan being just 21 years old and their 12-year age gap raising eyebrows, even among family.

Recounting how he broke the news of their secret marriage to his mother, veteran actor Sharmila Tagore, he said, “My mother knew about our relationship, but she always told me, ‘I hope you’re happy in your relationship, but don’t get married.’”

Age differences can bring unique dynamics to relationships. But what does it take to make such relationships successful, and how can couples approach these dynamics constructively?

Common challenges that couples with significant age differences face, and how can they address these effectively

Gurleen Baruah, organisational psychologist and life coach at That Culture Thing, tells indianexpress.com, “In age-gap relationships, success or challenges often hinge on the couple’s maturity, shared values, and connection. Age is often ‘just a number,’ but what truly matters is understanding and compatibility between the two people involved. Every couple faces unique hurdles, and the journey brings complexity and growth for those with a significant age difference.”

A key factor is alignment in life stages, she adds. “One partner may be building their career and exploring new experiences, while the other may focus on stability or retirement. These differences require honest, ongoing conversations to bridge goals and respect individual priorities, making each person feel valued.”

With mutual respect, open communication, and adaptability, couples can build a bond rooted in shared goals, understanding, and a willingness to navigate life’s challenges together. (Source: Freepik)

Power dynamics can also surface when the older partner unintentionally takes on a guiding role. While having a partner with more experience can be comforting, Baruah states, both benefit when they feel equally respected and involved in decision-making. Small gestures, like alternating who plans dates or leads big decisions, help balance this dynamic, reinforcing that both voices matter.

“Couples in age-gap relationships may encounter social and family judgments, facing questions about their compatibility or reasons for being together. Staying focused on shared values and mutual respect can help them weather these pressures,” says Baruah. 

Ultimately, she stresses that age-gap relationships can thrive when partners approach their differences as growth opportunities. With mutual respect, open communication, and adaptability, they build a bond rooted in shared goals, understanding, and a willingness to navigate life’s challenges together.

Striking a balance between personal growth and shared goals

Baruah notes, “Open communication becomes crucial when partners are at different life stages. Psychologically, this approach fosters a secure and respectful environment where personal growth thrives.” 

Each partner feels free to pursue individual goals, knowing they’re supported within the relationship. By encouraging each other—whether by celebrating achievements, temporarily adjusting shared priorities, or simply listening attentively—partners build a strong foundation of trust and resilience. 

Ultimately, balancing personal and shared goals in age-gap relationships, as in any relationship, is about remaining curious, having open and regular conversations, and committing to both individual and mutual growth, concludes Baruah. 

From the homepage

US–China trade tensions flare again – why it matters to India & the world

‘Don’t fear US tariffs… we’ll open trade with 10 new countries’: CM Yogi Adityanath at Bhadohi Carpet Expo

IND vs WI: Shubman Gill proves why captaincy hasn’t affected his batting