📣 For more lifestyle news, click here to join our WhatsApp Channel and also follow us on Instagram
© IE Online Media Services Pvt Ltd
Tags:
Journalism of Courage
Real love isn’t about erasing the past — it’s about accepting it. Genreally, our partner’s past is never the problem — our insecurities at play become an obstacle in a healthy flourishing relationship. Maturity lies in letting go and moving on from the past, and focusing on the future of a relationship. And Saif Ali Khan and Kareena Kapoor Khan are the perfect example of this advice. In a previous episode of popular talk show Koffee with Karan, the Bollywood couple opened up about navigating their past relationships and how they do not let it affect their marriage.
“I’m sure Saif knows I respect my past a lot. It will hold a very special chapter in my life. Saif and me, we talk about things, and we are very open about it. We have shared everything,” Kareena told the host, to which her husband replied: “I mean of course, I’m a Leo, I’m a red-blooded guy, I might get jealous about my woman about anything. I’m a normal human being.”
Talking about his primal instinctive urges, the Race actor shared: “Part of you sometimes wants to erase everything about the past of the person, and just own them completely. And then a more mature side kicks in, where you’re like, ‘your past, every moment you’ve been through, you must respect. It contributed to making you the person that you are today.'”
“I think the most important thing to remember is that every moment of your past has brought you to your present, so instead of sometimes fearing it, you should probably thank it,” he added.
Deepti Chandy, Therapist and COO, Anna Chandy & Associates told indianexpress.com that the first step is to recognise that the past is just that – the past. “What matters is the present and the relationship you’re in today. But if something about your partner’s past is bothering you, it’s worth asking: What exactly is affecting me? Is it an old relationship they’re still in touch with? Is it something you’ve seen or heard that’s triggered discomfort?”
Often, these feelings stem from insecurity, jealousy, or envy. And while these emotions may not be easy to talk about or even acceptable in some settings, they’re completely human. We all feel them. But according to Chandy, what’s important is to acknowledge them honestly. Suppressing or denying these emotions usually makes them stronger.
Today, with social media, shared friend groups, and overlapping histories, the past can resurface in unexpected ways. It can blur boundaries and make you feel like it’s part of your current relationship, even if it’s not. “In these moments, it helps to ask yourself: “Am I caught up in my partner’s past, or am I grounded in our present? What are we building together, here and now? Can we create new memories and rituals that are uniquely ours?” she advised.
Highlighting on the importance of self-introspection, Chandy reiterated that it is equally important to turn inward and reflect on what your emotions are really pointing to. “Is the jealousy or anger pointing to something deeper – like a sense of not being enough, or a fear of comparison? Can you understand where that comes from and support yourself through it? From that place of self-understanding, it becomes easier to communicate openly with your partner,” she added.
Chandy also recommended setting boundaries together along with your partner. “Maybe you’re okay with some level of interaction with an ex, but not more than that. These conversations help both people feel safe and respected,” she said. Because while it’s normal to have a past, what really matters is how you both show up for each other in the present.
