‘Love flies out the window sooner or later,’ says Priyanka Chopra’s mother Dr Madhu Chopra as she discusses pillars of lasting relationships

She said, “Love flies out the window sooner or later, or diminishes. But respect and trust, if they go, that relationship has no basis. You have to work on that respect and trust… be trustworthy, be capable of my respect, then your relationship will be successful.”

Her remark raises a thought-provoking question: does love inevitably fade in long-term partnerships?

Sonal Khangarot, licensed rehabilitation counsellor and psychotherapist, The Answer Room, tells indianexpress.com that the nature of love is subjective and influenced by various factors. Psychologist Robert Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love provides a framework to understand its complexity, identifying three key components:

• Intimacy: Emotional closeness and trust between partners.
• Passion: Physical attraction and sexual desire.
• Commitment: A conscious decision to sustain the relationship over time.
  

She says, “Additionally, Erich Fromm, in his seminal work The Art of Loving (1956), describes love as a skill that requires practice, knowledge, and dedication rather than just an emotional or accidental occurrence.”

To address whether love diminishes or transforms over time, couples often experience passionate love fuelled by novelty, desire, and excitement during the early stages of a relationship. “As time passes, this initial intensity may evolve into companionate love, characterised by emotional intimacy, mutual respect, and a deeper connection. While the passion of the early phase may fade, it can be replaced by a stable and enduring bond if nurtured with care and effort,” mentions Khangarot. 

Role of trust, respect, and communication play in sustaining relationships

As the initial sparks of a relationship fade, trust, respect, and communication become the foundation of a thriving partnership. “Renowned psychologist John Gottman emphasises that couples who practice positive communication — validating each other’s emotions and steering clear of contempt — are significantly more likely to maintain long-term satisfaction in their relationship,” notes Khangarot.

Openly discussing fears, dreams, and insecurities to deepen trust and understanding. (Source: Freepik)

How can couples nurture emotional intimacy and keep their connection strong as their relationship matures?

Emotional intimacy is the glue that strengthens a relationship as it matures. Khangarot says that couples can cultivate this by:

• Spending Quality Time Together: Engaging in shared activities and having uninterrupted conversations to build a sense of closeness.
• Practicing Gratitude: Regularly acknowledging and appreciating each other’s efforts to create a positive and supportive environment.
• Sharing Vulnerabilities: Discuss fears, dreams, and insecurities openly to deepen trust and understanding.

Psychological strategies that can help couples reignite feelings of love and passion over time

Khangarot states, “Engaging in novel activities can reignite excitement and stimulate dopamine release, recreating the thrill of the early stages of a relationship.”

Reflecting on shared milestones and joyful moments helps couples reconnect with the emotions and bond they felt at the start, she adds.

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